Can't Buy Me Love
by Stephanne21
Summary: "I refuse to be another girl to fall all over Finnick Odair…" 67th Games victor, Aurie, doesn't much care for Finnick's flirty reputation, but when Snow forces prostitution on them both, she discovers just how different Finnick is from what she originally thought. During their shared sentence, can they find love in a hopeless place? AU.
1. Chapter 1

Thanks for clicking this fic! Hope you like it. I decided to write it because I wanted to write about when Snow started selling Finnick. How he didn't completely lose his mind, I don't know. I thought it'd be slightly less torturous if he had someone to share the fate with – a fellow young victor - so I created my protagonist. No Finnick in chapter 1, but he does make a decent appearance in chapter 2 and will be a major character from chapter 3 and on.

Disclaimer: I own nothing except any original characters.

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><p><span><strong>Chapter One<strong>

Sella, the District 3 Capitol escort, reaches into the bowl containing every single female name aged 12-18 who resides in the district.

I'm 16 so my name is in there four times. Four times more than I'd like, that's for sure, but I know that I'm fortunate that it's not in there more times, like the poor children who have to take out tesserae to feed their families – they have their names in there possibly dozens more than I do. Sella always says in her ridiculous Capitol accent, "May the odds be ever in your favor!" but it's definitely not in theirs.

However, I wait with baited breath. If only I can make it through it this year and the following two without being chosen, that'd be amazing!

Sella pulls a slip of paper out of the bowl and reads in a clear voice, "Aurie Cransin!"

_What?_ I think. _She did NOT just say my name. I must be hallucinating._

Only, I quickly realize I'm not, when a girl near me shoves me forward and the crowd in front of me parts so that I can make my way to the stage.

Sella calls out for any volunteers once I take my place to her left. I scoff. District 3 hasn't had a volunteer in ages; after all, who would volunteer to go off and be slaughtered in The Hunger Games? District 3 isn't one of those crazy career districts, where the young people actually train and being sent into the Games is an honor.

Of course, no one volunteers. I try to find my parents' faces in the crowd but am unsuccessful; Sella calls the male tribute's name. "Parick Dalum!"

I'm relieved that I don't know him; I'd hate to go against a friend or neighbor. Granted, I don't have useful skills, so it's not like I'd be able to kill him. However, I'm great with technology; it's what I've been studying in school practically since I was 5.

Parick steps onto the stage and I sigh in disbelief; he's a foot taller than me and looks as though he weighs a hundred pounds more than me as well. That's not the norm in District 3 where we're not exactly starved but most of us don't get to eat to the point of being overweight.

Though, in his case… I glance at him a bit longer and decide his weight is from muscles, not being overweight. That makes me even more terrified! He'll squash me like a bug.

We're quickly ushered into the District 3 Justice Building where my family and friends all give me hugs and kisses and wish me luck. My mom, always the emotional one, starts crying the second she sees me.

"Please, baby, you have to win!" she says frantically.

I'm her youngest; therefore the baby. And, now no matter how hopeless things seem, I have to try to win for her sake.

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><p>Wiress and Beetee, the District 3 mentors for the 67th Annual Hunger Games, sit down with Parick and me on the high speed train to the Capitol and ask us what our strengths are. I shrug, because all I can think of is that I'm really good at playing with electronic devices; my parents own the number one electronics store in District 3 and it's a known fact that many people in the Capitol own our products.<p>

But, what good's being able to fiddle with electronics going to be when there are the deadly careers that weigh more than me and can throw knives with pinpoint accuracy seeing as they've been doing it since they were young?

Parick, as it turns out, does a lot of heavy lifting – that's where he gets his muscles from – he lifts loads of heavy electronics for a competing store. He's 18 and has just finished his schooling. I still had 2 years to go.

_I HAVE two years to go,_ I correct myself. After all, I'm not dead yet.

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><p>We arrive in the Capitol the next day and though the glamour of the sleek buildings and fancy cars awes me for a brief moment, I catch glimpses of the weird Capitolites. Not only do they talk with strange accents, they spend all of their time trying to come up with new fashion and makeup crazes. Let me tell you, there's nothing quite as disturbing as someone who appears to be literally on fire because every inch of their body is covered in a fiery red color. It's not as though Sella is much better. She's got a blue wig on, her skin is tinted blue, her makeup is various shades of blue, and her clothes are a variety of blue and purple shades. She looks like someone stuck her in a freezer and didn't let her out until she was thoroughly frostbitten. To think that people willingly choose to look so ridiculous!<p>

Parick and I are immediately rushed off to the Remake Center where they poke, prod, pluck and rip off every inch of body hair I have. I try not to scream, thinking of how embarrassed I would be if intimidating Parick overheard me, since he's in the room right next to me. He'd probably begin plotting my death as I lay there. However, it does get to be hard to not scream after a while, so I bite down on my arm, earning tuts and groans from the prep team, who I overhear gossiping over who's dating who and "Can you BELIEVE what happened on such and such show last night?" Ridiculously unimportant stuff, you know.

"Don't mark yourself up now, Aurie, dolly, we just got you looking pretty!" one of them cries in dismay.

I roll my eyes. Whatever they did to me, I guarantee it did not make me look any prettier. That's not to say that I am ugly; boys have been interested in me back in District 3 for a few years. I have pale skin (most of us do for all the time we spend inside working on tech devices), but amber colored eyes, naturally long eyelashes and I'm tall for a girl and naturally thin. I also have wavy dark blonde hair. It's not like I stand in the mirror preening (trust me, I never do this), but I can tell the difference between ugly and pretty. Also, I have no desire to be pretty in Capitol terms, but I suppose I better start doing my best to appease them; maybe some rich family will take interest in me and sponsor me when I'm starving to death in the arena…

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><p>After being made over, I meet my stylist who presents me with my outfit that I am to wear at tonight's Tribute's Parade. It has fiber optics sewn throughout it; it's actually an amazing outfit! So, when I come out in the chariot with Parick, the crowd cheers loudly for me. I hear my name being chanted over the music blaring over the loud speakers.<p>

"Congratulations, Aurie, you were a smashing success!" Beetee smiles and gives my arm a squeeze as I step off from the chariot. Wiress, who seems like her head isn't quite always there, gives me a half smile and pats my back. Parick, whose outfit is more simplistic because his stature is apparently impressive enough, glares at me as we step into the elevator that will take us to the 3rd floor of the Tribute's Center.

"What?" I practically growl out at him.

"You stole the show!" he pouts like a little child. "How dare you!"

"How dare I!" I echo sarcastically and then roll my eyes.

"You won't steal the show once we're done with training and they see my score compared to yours."

"Tell it to someone who cares," I snap as we get off on our floor. I would be lucky enough to get a jealous, attention starved district partner. It's not to say that district partners are normally friends but they aren't usually enemies out to kill each other. After all, how could you go back to your district if you were a victor but killed your district partner? You might see that person's family every single day for the rest of your life. I couldn't live with that kind of guilt.

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><p>Training ends up being not as much of a disaster as I worried it would. It turns out that I have a natural ability at identifying edible plants and I have surprisingly good balance, making it hard for someone to catch me if we're running over unsteady or uneven ground.<p>

The girl from District 7 named Kortnae apparently is looking for allies because she starts showing me how to throw an ax with proficiency. While I don't hit the target every time, I'm accurate over 50% of the time; I know it could be worse.

I work on knot tying, hoping I can master snaring prey, whether it's a tribute or an animal. District 3 specialized fiber optic wire makes a good snare. It's hard to make out when you set it just right. I might be able to use that to my advantage.

Day three of training is about figuring out what we want to present to the Gamemakers later that day. I am still unsure of what to present, but I know it better be good – they'll be basing my score off it and I don't want anything lower than a 7. However, I'm sure Parick is going to be throwing around something heavy, like maybe one of those giant clubs with spikes at the end. I cannot imagine how painful it would be to die by getting hit over and over with that.

Finally, thanks to Beetee's suggestions, I decide I'll throw the ax first as I've gotten better with my accuracy (not necessarily my strength however, if anyone is far enough away, it won't hit them) and then make a snare with the fiber optic wire and then get something to trip it. Hopefully, they'll notice how effective my snare is and how hard it is to see it. Beetee tells me that while I won't earn the best score unless I can hit the bulls-eye with my ax, it should still get me a decent number.

That night, they announce our scores. The careers (those kids who train from a young age on and then eagerly volunteer at 17 or 18, remember) from Districts 1 and 2 get unsurprisingly in the 9's and 10's. The other career district, 4, which hasn't had too many volunteers lately, surprisingly, has two middle of the road scores (6's) to go with their middle of the road ages (15, dead center in the middle of the rest of us aged 12 to 18).

Parick, in case you are wondering, ends up with a 10. He gives me a wolfish grin and looks to see what mine will be. It's an 8! Which isn't as good as the District 1 or 2 tributes but it ends up being better than everyone else except for Parick, of course, and Kortnae who also pulls an 8.

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><p>The interviews two days later go by in a blur. I do my best to appear interesting, likeable and flirty (it was my stylist's idea for that last one, as awkward as it seemed). I talk about home and my family, though I make sure to mention how much I love the Capitol, its food and its "generous hospitality". Yes, I managed to say that with a straight face. However, the people in the audience seemed to enjoy it, just judging by their laughter and cheers, so that was certainly a good thing…<p>

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><p>Then, it was time for the actual Games. I was filled with dread as I awaited my fate. Sure, I wasn't planning on being anywhere near the Cornucopia at the beginning so I'd avoid being hacked into pieces during the bloodbath, but knowing how many lethal tributes were out there, I didn't expect to even make it past the halfway point.<p>

But, somehow, thanks to a little luck, and my successful snares, I managed to make it to the final 12 tributes. Then, I got some amazing sponsor gifts. I got a handheld device that would electrocute anyone I was to press it up to. In addition, I got burn cream since I'd been burned badly by mutt ants that were literally on fire. It certainly brought a new meaning to the name fire ants. One night I'd been hiding out in a gap in a tree and the next minute my leg felt like I'd fallen on the hot stove at home.

With the electro cuter device in one hand, wire for snares in the other and burn cream in my backpack, I realized that I stood a chance in making it far in the Games.

The careers must've turned on each other, or Parick got to them, because the next night I saw both District 1 tributes' faces in the sky. I couldn't believe I'd outlasted half of the careers, as the District 4 girl was also dead.

Things weren't progressing fast enough for the Gamemakers (who really just want a good show or else the Capitolites will start complaining about the Games growing dull) so they invited us to a feast. We would be provided enough food to fill our bellies and there would be enough to take some with us. However, I knew Parick and the District 2 tributes, Moarey and Sharlton, would be there, looking to kill anyone else stupid enough to risk it.

Sure enough, that night, Sharlton, Parick, the boy from 5 and the girl from 8 were dead. Astonishingly enough, Kortnae was one of the 6 remaining, besides myself.

It was then that I realized I could actually go home! I could make it out of this thing alive! Parick and Sharlton must've taken each other out and taken a couple of others down with them.

Then I realized that I did not want to face off against Kortnae. She was so nice to have shown me how to use the ax. However, the alliance I thought we would end up having did not end taking place; I never did find out what caused her to change her mind. I knew then, at the late stage in the game that Kortnae would kill me in a heartbeat; she was too deadly accurate with that ax and I was sure she had found one by that point.

I thought I was going to die as I walked along, because suddenly I fell through a massive hole in the earth. No way could a tribute have dug something so large; this was the Gamemakers all the way. It didn't matter though, I was sure I'd broken my ankle or leg (or both) and now any tribute could kill me and I'd be helpless to stop them. I couldn't find any way out.

A tree branch broke off after I'd been in the hole for a day and I was able to use it to get out. However, my leg was severely injured and I didn't know how much longer I had left in me. How could I ever outrun a tribute?

Just as I thought that, the boy from District 8 dug something in my back. "Give me a reason and I'll stab you," he growled out.

I turned and saw someone who looked…feral. It was one of the scariest things I'd ever seen. How could someone have gone so mad? What had the Gamemakers done to him?

Before he could stab me, I stuck my electro cuter in his arm and he dropped dead on the spot.

That night, 3 pictures appeared in the sky: The boy from District 4, Kortnae (my heart did a weird flip flop, sad to see her gone but glad I didn't have to confront her), and the boy from 8 who'd I'd killed. That left 3 remaining tributes: me, Moarey from District 2 (who I was absolutely terrified of running into; if she killed me, she'd probably draw it out to make a good show for the Capitol) and the boy from 9.

Nothing happened that day, so the following day, a flash flood sprung up. It didn't last long but unfortunately, I wasn't a very good swimmer, so I found myself swallowing quite a bit of water. It didn't taste quite right - very metallic - as though it was laced with blood.

I grew very ill and threw up the following night. The boy from 9 appeared in the sky that night. Moarey would be hunting me and I still felt terrible. Whatever was I going to do?

Whatever was in that water didn't disappear from my system. It was as though it was toxic and was eating away at my insides. However would I outlast Moarey?

I stumbled around, growing weaker by the second, waiting for her to come and end my life. I couldn't believe I'd made it all this way only to die at the very end. Well, there is always that one person who almost is a victor but isn't. I couldn't believe it was going to be me!

Moarey found me and threw her knife at me. I dodged it by throwing my backpack up; it deflected and landed a few feet to my right. I crawled for it and tried to grasp it so I could stab at her if she came at me. I was so weak, however, that she kicked the knife out of my hand before I could get a good handle on it.

"Oh you precious District 3 rat," she cooed. "Did you really think that someone from your district could actually _win_? Oh, you did, didn't you? Tragic how no one has won from your district since what, the 46th Games? What a pathetic stat that is! Even District 12 had a victor more recently than you did! You have…"

Cutting her off, I grabbed my electro cuter and stabbed her. It had lost a lot of juice, however, so all it did was cause her to start twitching uncontrollably.

"Bitch!" she screamed and before I could prepare myself, she wildly threw the knife at me. It had enough force that when it hit my leg, it still cut open a gash at least 5 inches long.

"Ahhhhhhhh!" I screamed as I began to bleed steadily, which only increased my weakness.

She could barely move; I dragged myself, my horribly injured leg trailing behind, completely useless, closer to her and with the last ounce of strength, I stuck her with the electro cuter once more.

She grew still and a few minutes later, the cannon fired.

Somehow, someway, I did it! I was the victor of the 67th Hunger Games!

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><p>Now that you've made it to the end of the first chapter, it would mean a lot to me if you let me know what you thought of it. I sincerely hope you liked it but if there's something you didn't care for, please let me know (nicely) what I could do to improve it. And if you followfavorite it, that's great too! If you did enjoy this, you can expect an update in a week, most likely.


	2. Chapter 2

Finnick makes his debut in this chapter, so exciting! Hope you like it; if you do, please let me know.

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><p><strong><span>Chapter Two<span>**

The next few days pass by in a blur, thanks to being pretty drugged up on medicine; when I come to for brief intervals, I feel like the feral boy from District 8 - just another person I killed – the memory causing me to scream and eventually, they sedate me with more drugs. Eventually, I discover that all of my injuries are healed completely. Any scars I had vanished without a trace so that I look my absolute best. The Capitol medical staff is certainly to thank for these feats.

I try to block out the Victor's Ceremony where we sit there and rehash the entire 67th Games, which forces me to watch the "highlights". I do my best to smile when all I want to do is crawl into my bed, wrap myself in the duvet and fall asleep for about a month. I try not to scream in horror when I watch myself kill a tribute. At the end where Moarey almost kills me, I barely even recognize myself – I look like death warmed over. The image causes my last meal to almost make a reappearance all over the stage and Caesar Flickerman.

It would sound pathetic and not very "victor worthy" so I don't say it, but all I can think about is that I wish all of the dead tributes would magically appear - that it was all an illusion that they had been killed. No one's families and friends deserve to mourn the loss of their loved ones like this.

It makes me feel sick to my stomach as I'm treated like some wonderful hero. All I did was outlast 23 other young people in a fight to the death. I killed some other young people. I did it to stay alive, yes, but I don't deserve to be hero worshiped.

I also try to block out the bit where President Snow places a crown on my head and says some meaningless drivel meant to sound lovely but comes across as poison to my ears. I suppress a shudder when his eyes, which have a snake-like quality to them, meet mine.

T_he Capitol is so warped,_ I think once the "festivities" conclude, as I finally board my train that will take me happily back to District 3, where I will get to live in Victor's Village with my family and my wealth, plus now I'll be free from the Games for the rest of my life.

Immediately, after thinking those thoughts, I scold myself. I'll never truly be free from the Games. Next year, I'll have mentor 2 more young people from the district and try to do everything I can to keep them alive.

There's no use trying to convince myself that I won't have to do much mentoring. I'm the newest victor, plus I'm young and pretty, while Wiress and Beetee are considered pretty weird by the Capitol, so I could see them pushing whichever of those two I'd mentor with to the background. Our other victors are either considered mentally unstable (which gives them a pass from mentoring) or are deceased. Snow will make sure I'm in the spotlight. It's what he does – the newest and best looking victors are always mentors for the next few Games. Many of them spend much of their time in the Capitol filming various propaganda to get everyone "excited" about the upcoming Games; the very thought of doing that myself sickens me. Imagine willingly spending time with those strange Capitolites! I shudder and hope that Snow doesn't request much of my time be spent there.

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><p>The next six months go by without too much fanfare, except for the minor parties and dinners thrown in my honor as the newest victor. The best moments are the Parcel Days, which happen on the first of each month: In honor of winning, many food items are dropped off from the Capitol, delighting the children, especially the less fortunate ones. My parents and I move to the Victor's Village with Wiress and Beetee as neighbors as well as the two other living victors and their families who are supporting them in their mentally unstable old age.<p>

I go back to school for something to do, since now I'll never have to actually work, but soon discover things will never be quite the same for me here. A few of the kids treat me as though I'm a Capitolite, myself. Every now and then, I catch people glancing at me and occasionally, I hear them mentioning me behind my back, which makes my stomach twist. I had been so sure I'd be able to go back to a normal life!

My friends don't treat me any differently, thankfully, but ask me questions about what it was like there and why I wouldn't want to go back.

"Because, it's just fake and weird and no one there looks normal," I answer one of my closest friend's questions about why I prefer it here. "They have too much time on their hands. Some of them dye their skin to look like the sun. You're telling me you would want to spend time with people like that?"

She shakes her head. "No, I guess not. I just thought the Capitol was glamorous and you know, something different from here. I'm just sick of never seeing anything else besides District 3."

I bite back the scathing comment about if she goes into the Games next year then she'll definitely see more than District 3 and she can see for herself just how glamorous the Capitol truly is. Instead I say, "Well, just be glad you're safe in District 3."

"Unless I get reaped in the next two years," she replies with a scowl.

"I hope that doesn't happen," I reply.

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><p>As the days go by, I get closer to what I'm truly dreading which is the Victory Tour. I'd thought before winning the Hunger Games that going into the actual Games would be the hardest thing I could ever do, but the thought of having to go to each district and utter condolences to families who will never see their sons or daughters again is sickening. What good are a few pathetic words when I'll never be able to bring their children back to them? I'm responsible for some of their deaths; how do I even begin to offer words of regret for killing them?<p>

However, the more you dread something approaching, the quicker it does. I turn seventeen in the meantime and soon after, it's time for my three week trip around Panem.

We begin with a trip to District 12. I barely knew their tributes. The empty words Sella insists I read off a card come across every bit as hollow as I expect them to. When the district claps for me, I imagine they wish I would drop dead and the harder they clap, the more likely it'll happen.

_How am I supposed to get through this trip?_ I think miserably as I cry alone in my bed on the train.

For the past six months, I'd only had a few nightmares about my time in the arena, but now that I'm getting this experience dredged up again, that night I have a vivid nightmare of the two tributes from District 12. It's as though they've become a two headed monster. They dump a bucket of fire ants on me and cackle at me as I scream in pain.

I awaken, realizing that I screamed myself awake. Wiress knocks on my door and when I tell her to come in, she asks if I'm ok. I cry out that I had a nightmare so she sits down on the edge of my bed and confesses softly that she has nightmares even now, all these years later.

"They never go away?" I ask, my lower lip trembling.

She shakes her head. "Unfortunately, no, Aurie. It truly helps to talk..." She pats my back and asks if I'll be ok now and I nod uncertainly and she leaves the room.

Unwilling to go back to sleep, I stare out the window as we whip by the area between districts and watch the sun rise.

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><p>The tour through the districts is like a living nightmare. I do my best to try to be as supportive as I can be, but seeing as I can't even go to the grieving families and hug them, I feel completely useless. Sella scolds me and tells me that I'm to enjoy my time as I've earned my time in the spotlight. She tells me that I need to enjoy the feasts provided for me. With those comments, I stalk out of the dining car and take a seat in my room, feeling truly disgusted with anything and everything to do with the Capitol.<p>

_They. Are. Vile._ I think in anger as I grind my teeth and refuse to look at Sella for the next couple of districts.

Beetee tells me that I need to apologize to Sella because she is sure to mention my behavior to President Snow if I keep being so angry and sullen.

This alarms me. Snow scares me; anyone who allows 24 young people to fight to the death is a man worth fearing, especially when I remember those snake like eyes. So, I apologize to Sella. She accepts my apology and tells me that she'll forgive me, considering I'm a moody teenager with hormones and says that all girls get like that at some point.

I try not to laugh at the ridiculousness of that statement. Sure, every teenager snips at their parents at some point but for her to equate my anger with teenage hormones might be the most outrageous thing I've ever heard in my life.

Beetee stares into my eyes, boring into them hard; silently willing me to keep my mouth shut and behave. So, I do for the remainder of the trip, until we reach the Capitol, where Sella promises the party will be the best I've ever seen and it's _all_ in my honor. Like, I'm supposed to be excited about that or something.

"This means you have to be on your best behavior and be as gracious as you can possibly be," Beetee says seriously. "Snow will be watching. He may even speak with you if he deems it necessary."

I nod. "Got it, Beetee."

"See that you do, Aurie," he replies in a low voice and we head to the tribute center. My stomach flip-flops, remembering just six months ago when 24 people, their mentors and their escorts all stayed here. Now, it's vacant except for me, Beetee, Wiress and Sella. I involuntarily shudder, imagining the dead tributes rising from their graves (which are probably underneath this building, wouldn't that be an ironic end to their lives?) to strangle me in the night.

The next few hours are spent being fussed over by the prep team (who I hadn't had to deal with on the tour, just my stylist, Pietra, which was somewhat of a relief) in the Remake Center who stress over me failing to keep my nails as nice as they'd like. They aren't too pleased that my hair is no longer tamed the way they had it at the Victor's Ceremony. Nor are they happy that all of my body hair has grown back. As if I would willingly subject myself to waxing!

I grit my teeth as they fuss over every bit of me and stifle screams from another painful encounter with body wax.

Pietra dresses me in a tight deep green dress that makes me appear that I have way more cleavage than I actually do. At the waist, the dress fans out a little bit and stops mid-thigh. I haven't felt so uncomfortable since the time she put me in a dress this short for the Victor's Ceremony. She places me in 3 inch heels that match the dress and smiles at her finished job. I hate feeling so exposed. I'm only 17, not 27, but I feel like they're all trying to make me look 10 years older than I actually am.

Then, we leave the tribute center and soon arrive at Snow's mansion for, as Sella says, "the party of the year." Yeah, I suppose for her it is, especially for the first time since she became a District 3 escort, she actually has a victor.

We head inside where many people cheer at just the sight of me. A few excited young ladies (maybe a few years younger than me) reach for my hand. I reach out and touch them, making them jump up and down in utter bliss. It's a completely bizarre experience, especially contrasted with the reactions I got from every single district.

Once we're inside, we're placed at a table and served plate after plate of food. It's delicious and though I try to pace myself and only eat a few bites from everything I see, I'm soon full. As I sit back in my chair and groan, one of the members of the prep team, named Tibirius, hands me a glass and tells me it'll make it easier to eat additional food.

_Ingenious, _I think and press the glass to my lips, but before I can drink the liquid, he says with wide eyes that I shouldn't do that here, because I'll be sick all over the floor.

Disgusted, I set the glass down. Who could be so demented as to drink something so that they could throw up all the food they just ate so that they could eat more? Send the food to the districts and give it to the poor who barely get enough to eat, or maybe don't even get enough to eat.

Before much longer, a few gentlemen ask to dance with me. I accept, and dance with them and try not to yawn from their dull banter. I honestly could not care less about what happened on the Capitol programs from the night before and I'm disgusted when they mention the money they won from bets they placed on me winning the Games.

Finally, I'm able to plead exhaustion and I head back to the table, when Sella appears with a smile on her face. "Time for you to meet the victors who have decided to show up," she says excitedly. "You're now one of them."

Why does the phrase "one of them" send shivers down my spine?

I meet the gorgeous brother and sister victors from District 1 who won the 63rd and 64th Games. Their names are Cashmere and Gloss. I stifle a laugh – I will never get over how ridiculous the names are for District 1. Of course I'm familiar with this pair, however, once they won, I tried blocking them out of my memory. As they were members of the Careers, I was pretty disgusted when they won. District 1 has several other winners of course, but these 2 spend the most time in the Capitol. It's not surprising, honestly. They're the most recent victors from their district and they're both stunning to look at, what with their athletic physiques and perfect, white teeth and sexy blonde hair.

Cashmere grins at me. "Welcome, Aurie, to the victor's circle." Something about her rubs me the wrong way. She seems really phony.

Gloss doesn't say much, just smiles and winks and says my name as sultry as possible. I suddenly feel as though I need a shower. While he's incredibly attractive, there's something about him that bothers me, just like with his sister.

I meet the two most famous victors from District 2, Enobaria and Brutus. Brutus is a terrifyingly tall, muscular man in his early 30's. He says nothing to me, just raises his eyebrows when I'm introduced. Hardly less terrifying is Enobaria who won the 62nd Games. She ripped out a tribute's throat on the way to victory and almost immediately after winning sharpened her teeth into points.

Sitting next to them is the victor from the Games before mine, yet another one from District 2, Jax. He's a hulking, sullen looking 19 year old who probably weighs about 100 pounds more than my 115 and stands at perhaps 2 inches above 6 feet. His olive skin and deep blue eyes should come off as attractive but on him it just comes off as intimidating, especially because when he looks at me, I feel like an old gadget about to be incinerated and he's the one operating the machine. I inwardly shudder and hope that I'm not expected to be too friendly with the victors from 2.

Next, I meet Mags, a lovely, quiet old lady from District 4. She has the kindest smile. I wonder briefly how she has kept her sanity all these years. She won the 11th Games and has watched child after child that she's mentored die. She's the only person here, I believe, who witnessed the very first Games. I can't imagine what it must've been like to be told that from that time on, 24 young people would get randomly chosen to fight to the death. I've never known a time before the Games; it must be so much worse to have known a time without them. Though, in Mags' case, she wouldn't remember those times well. She won the Games at 16, so she would've only been 5 when they implemented the very first one.

Sitting next to her, always keeping an eye on her and making sure she's alright, is the most famous victor that I can recall: Finnick Odair. He is the youngest victor ever, at 14, so since he won the 65th Games, he'd now be 16 or 17, like me. Standing in his presence, I'm actually taken aback by how incredibly gorgeous he is. I've never seen a boy in District 3 who could rival his looks. Somehow, even Gloss fails in comparison to him.

However, Finnick has a reputation I don't like. Since he won his Games, he is one of those victors who spends much of his time in the Capitol, filming those propaganda style commercials spouting ridiculous phrases about how wonderful and generous the people are here. These are the things he says to get people excited about the next Games. How can he honestly believe the trash he spouts? He's also supposedly an incredible flirt, leaving dozens of women faint just from a few words.

I witness this first hand as he smiles charmingly at me and says in a slight purr, "Aurie Cransin, what a privilege it is to finally meet you." His tone somehow doesn't come off as insincere whatsoever. He pulls my hand to his lips and lightly brushes them against my skin, sending shocks through me, which is slightly alarming. He smiles warmly (which should be fake but it doesn't come across that way at all) at me and then squeezes my hand, causing my stomach to do flips over and over again. Maybe this is why those women feel faint, a thought that really bothers me. I always thought I was a little deeper than that; I refuse to be another girl to fall all over Finnick Odair just because he smiled at me with those sparkling, gorgeous blue green eyes (which I've heard described as "sea green", something I wouldn't know much about, having seen the sea for approximately 5 seconds on my tour of District 4).

Feeling hot from being embarrassed that Finnick unnerved me so much, I turn away from him as Sella introduces me to more victors. They don't make much of an impression on me, which infuriates me because my brain keeps dwelling on Finnick's perfect smile and his perfectly tousled sun kissed wavy bronze hair. He's awfully toned too, without being intimidatingly muscular…

I meet the one man who won the Games to refuse Capitol treatment for a loss of limb, named Chaff from District 11. He has kept his stump (instead of a hand) with as much pride as one could have; I doubt I could be so brave. I'd want both hands very much! Chaff seems like he finds comfort in liquor however, and is barely standing upright at this point. Despite that, he laughs loudly and cracks numerous jokes, amusing those around him.

Finally, I meet Haymitch, the only living victor from District 12. He's famous because, though I wasn't alive to witness it, he won the 50th Games, or what is known as the 2nd Quarter Quell. He had to fight against double the tributes and still managed to come out on top. Sadly, like Chaff, he seems to get through life on liquor. His tributes don't tend to last long in the Games, either. Haymitch barely acknowledges my presence, so I walk away from all of the victors, who have kept to themselves most of the night.

I walk past a few young Capitolites giggling over Finnick and debating if they should go and talk to him and what he might say to them. Suddenly, they gasp as I hear, "Aurie?"

I whirl around and find myself face to face with Finnick. The girls remain by me, standing still, but Finnick ignores them and asks me to dance. They throw me jealous, furious looks and stalk away.

"Um, I think they wanted to dance with you," I offer as I wave my hand in their direction.

"This is the one night where I don't have to spend time flirting with them; I'm going to take advantage of it," he replies and pulls me into his arms, swaying to the beat of the music.

I shrug and try very hard not to look into his eyes because every time I do, my heart speeds up. Instead I say, "So, what do you think of these parties?"

He shrugs. "They're deplorable. However, if you abandon your morals, you can find them enjoyable."

"I'm glad you said so. I was thinking I was the only one."

He shrugs, again. "It's just not something you say in public."

"Then why did _you_ say it? Besides, I thought you loved the Capitol. I thought you felt they were kind and generous and the most wonderful people ever. I thought that you were growing tired of District 4."

He glances around and says in a low voice, "It's what you have to say as a victor. If you get my meaning."

My stomach drops and I say a bit too loudly, "You mean, I'll have to say things like that?"

"Keep your voice down. Yes, as a young, beautiful victor, you will say whatever they want you to say." My heart jumps at him calling me 'beautiful'. "Come on, don't you find yourself already saying whatever you're told to?" He raises his eyebrows and waits for my response.

I think back to all those ridiculous speeches I gave at all the districts and gasp. He's right. I'm _already_ spouting Capitol bullshit.

Suddenly, I feel ill.

"Hey, Finnick, I'm not feeling too well. Do you think I'll be able to leave or would that ruin everyone's nights?"

He looks around and shrugs. "Many people have already left. Shall I walk you back to the headquarters or would you rather wait for your escort or prep team?"

My stomach grows more nauseous at the very thought of having to listen to their ridiculous chatter any longer so I shake my head. He says something briefly to Mags and then informs me that she will let Sella and the prep team know of my departure; then he and I leave the president's mansion.

Finnick and I stroll quietly along the sidewalk on the way back to the tribute center, and I finally break the silence by saying, "You seem different than I thought you were."

He grins, his teeth gleaming in the light from the street lamps and various neon signs (there's another District 3 specialty: Neon) and says, "You're the first person to say that."

_Really?_ I think, but instead, I say, "Seriously, I thought you were some Capitol 'pet' or something. You never seem to have much substance."

"Can you honestly blame me when you think about the absolute rubbish I have to spout?" I glance and him and shake my head. "You seem different than what I expected, too. There was something…innocent about you and now, I'm not sure."

Heat rushes to my face. "I'm not innocent?! Just because my stylist put me in a short dress…"

"No, I didn't mean it _like that_," he interrupts me, "but despite winning, you've always seemed younger than 16. Now, after meeting you, I can see someone who's onto the Capitol's…" He trails off as we pass by a group of young Capitolites who are talking loudly about which nightclub they're off to next.

I scowl as soon as they step past us and are out of earshot. "That's what I mean," he says, gesturing to me. "You are clearly very anti-Capitol."

"Anyone from District 3 with any common sense would be," I retort.

"Even so, just make sure you watch what you say and who you say it to. Even though you're out of the Games, be careful who you trust."

"Are you saying I'm wrong to trust you, Odair?" I ask in the most indignant tone I can muster."What do you think?"

"I think that I can trust you," I tell him, sincerely hoping it's not just his looks swaying me into saying that. I'd feel like a complete fool if I told him all of my secrets and then he betrayed my confidence at the next opportunity. Can I _really_ trust the Capitol's most favorite victor?

He smiles and the next thing I feel is him giving my hand another squeeze, which once again sends shocks throughout my arm. I wish I wasn't so affected by him!

The next thing I realize, we're back at the tribute center. He gives me a brief side arm hug and wishes me the best of luck with the remaining time I have before the 68th Games' Reaping. He says he will see me back here then. I nod and say I'll see him then and step inside, head up the elevator to the 3rd floor and step into the apartment.

Beetee smiles at me as I close the door. "What did you think of the other victors?" he asks.

"Ah, they were _interesting_," I reply; immediately an image of Finnick appears in my head. "I think I'll go to bed since we're heading back to District 3 early in the day."

"Right. The end of the Victory Tour, which should come as a huge relief."

"Definitely. I'll be glad to be done with it!"

* * *

><p>Back in District 3, we head for the square in front of the Justice Building for my victory party, where in 5 months, the next Reaping will be held. Right now, it's completely decked out in tables of food and drink and everyone who could come is arriving, chattering as excitedly as I've ever seen them.<p>

"The girl we're here to see!" I hear some boy I don't know at all call out to me. His friends smile at him and he approaches me and introduces himself as Trevor and when I ask him how come I don't know him, he says it's because he's a few years older than me. I shrug and appraise his look wondering why it is I've never been that attracted to the District 3 boys. I'm not attracted to Trevor, either. He's not bad looking exactly, with light brown hair and soft blue eyes and I'm sure my friends would find him appealing, but when he touches my hand, it leaves me cold, so unlike the effect Finnick had on it.

I excuse myself to get a drink and am accosted by my friends who bombard me with questions about how the party was in the Capitol and who the boy was who introduced himself to me just now.

Shelline, one of the nicest, but also most naïve girls I know, is unable to keep the excitement out of her voice as she asks me, "Did you meet Finnick Odair at the party? He's in the Capitol so often!"

I remember her frequently commenting on his looks during his Games. She was happy when he won and when he did his Victory Tour, she tried to get a spot in the front of the crowd. She insists he looked at her and smiled directly at her; the rest of us have always just appeased her by agreeing with her.

I tell her that I did in fact meet Finnick and suddenly she asks me question after question, one of them being if I told him about her.

"Er, no, sorry Shell," I reply, feeling a little bad, but tell myself to get over it, because travel between districts is so highly monitored that it's extremely unlikely that she'll ever see Finnick in person again unless she wins the Games herself.

She frowns at me as one of the boys in our class comes up to her, offers her a cake from his plate and strikes up a conversation with her. He has liked her for quite a while though she seems completely unaware of it.

"Soooo…what _was_ it like talking to the famous Finnick Odair?" Ashlynn, one of my closest friends, probes.

"Ummmm…interesting," I say carefully, not wanting to confess my attraction to him, nor do I feel it's my place to inform her that he's not quite what the Capitol presents him as.

"Interesting? You were at a party with the gorgeous Finnick Odair and that's all you can say?" She frowns at me. "He's our age! He must've been interested in talking to you."

My cheeks grow warm and I look at the ground. "Yeah, he was, I guess. I don't know, it was alright."

"Ha, alright, somehow I doubt that's all it was," she says, winking at me.

"He's some Capitol darling. He's gorgeous, yes, but he's still one of _them_," I say with disdain.

"Sure, Aurie, whatever you say," she replies and goes off to dance with one of our classmates.

Suddenly, I feel exhausted. I learn against one of the tables and look at all of my friends dancing with boys. I don't really want to be out there with them. I just wish I could go home and forget all about The Hunger Games and that I ever won them.

Except, I'm not sure I'd forget about meeting Finnick…

My mom comes up to me and asks me if I'm feeling ok. I nod, not wanting to burden her with anything. She hugs me tightly and says softly that she missed me so much and hated listening to me read Capitol spiel at each district but understands why I did it.

Finally, I convince her to join the other parents, where my dad already is. My dad had spent time with me at our Victor's Village home when I arrived today asking me for details about the Capitol, not because he was impressed with it, but because he wanted to make sure I was still the same Aurie Cransin. He said he'd become concerned about me after he watched me make "ridiculous speech after ridiculous speech." I explained to him that I had no choice in the matter. He said he watched a little of the Capitol party and said he was somewhat horrified that I was dancing with those young Capitolites. I explained that to him too that I had to be as polite as possible as the newest victor.

My brothers, who are 20 and 23, ambush me after my mom leaves my side, saying that they've heard that I met Finnick Odair. They tell me that I could do better than that Capitol jerk and though he may be incredibly attractive to remember it's what's on the inside that counts.

"Thanks Shef," I tell my 20 year old brother, trying not to roll my eyes. He's just being his overprotective self.

"Seriously, Odair is just some obnoxious punk taken in by the Capitol. Neither of us wants you to date him." He looks at my oldest brother, Jenks, who nods.

"I've never liked him," he agrees. "Ever since he got reaped at 14, he has always come across as obnoxious and cocky."

"That's great, I'm so glad you think that about him," I reply heavily. "But, I think I can make up my own mind on him."

Their eyes go wide on me. "No!" Shef says, grabbing my arms. "Anyone but him!"

"What about Brutus then?" I cross my arms in front of my chest, calling their bluff.

"Ok, not any other victors. What about a nice boy from our district?"

I shrug. "I'm really tired of this conversation. Let's talk about something else."

We end up talking about their jobs.

Finally, after talking to several other people, including Wiress and Beetee, Sella announces the party's end and I sigh in relief then make my way with my parents to our home.

Not even bothering to change my clothes, I fall into my bed and fall asleep within a few minutes.

I wake up the next morning, sighing and stretching as I glance at the sunlight streaming into my room.

As I contemplate what I want to do today since I won't have to return to school for a couple of days, I hear a knock on my door.

"Come in," I say, somewhat groggily since I'm still sleepy.

My mom comes in and hands me an official looking document. The Capitol seal is on the tape sealing the paper together. Feeling as though this can be nothing good, I open the document with trembling hands.

Mom clutches my arm, looking somewhat nervous and asks me what it says.

"Um, it says that President Snow requests my presence in the Capitol. He wants me to take the train out today. There will be one waiting for me at noon." I show her the letter, as her face grows whiter by the second.

"He can't do that!" she says, crumpling the paper in her hands. "You just got back! How can he ask you to go back to the Capitol?"

My heart grows heavy. What could Snow possibly want from me? Did someone overhear my conversation with Finnick? Did Finnick betray my confidence? Was I not nice enough to the Capitolites at the party? I must've done something wrong, but however long I think, I can't come up with an answer. I don't know what Snow will do to me. And, that's the scariest part.

XXXXXXXXXX

Well, if you made it to the end of the chapter, I hope you enjoyed it! Please review and tell me what you thought, good or bad (but if it's negative, please be nice). If you like this story so far, please also follow and favorite! It'd mean so much to me!

Lots of love! See you next week.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you so much to everyone who has followed and favorited since my last update!

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Reply to 'guest' HT: Thanks for your kind review, hope you like the next chapter!

Well, enjoy chapter 3!

* * *

><p><span>Chapter Three<span>

My mom cries as she shows the letter to my dad who glares at its contents. "That...horrible man!" he says loudly.

"Dad, calm down, please!" I beg, worrying that a peacekeeper might overhear him through the open windows and ask him what the trouble is.

"Sorry, Aurie," he says, remembering peacekeepers (who are, despite their names, anything but peaceful) patrol the Victor's Village periodically.

"He can't do this," Mom repeats from earlier in my room.

"Unfortunately, he can and he will," I reply heavily. "I guess I should pack. I have no idea how long I will be expected to be there. Hopefully, no more than a few days."

_As long as he doesn't kill me_, I think, though what I did to bring that punishment on myself, I have no idea. Except for the conversation with Finnick, I haven't done anything to deserve a reprimand. Maybe I really can't trust Finnick Odair, the Capitol's favorite victor.

I'm unable to eat breakfast, so I head back to my room and silently pack enough clothes for a few days. Whatever Snow wants from me couldn't possibly take more than that.

Once I'm packed and ready to go, I announce I'm going to see Beetee and Wiress, hoping they'll have some sort of idea of what Snow wants.

However, if I was expecting solid answers, I'm sorely disappointed. Beetee furrows his brow, frowning and letting me know that he never received one of those notices from Snow, which makes my stomach drop to the floor. I had been holding out some pathetic hope that maybe it was standard protocol for all new victors to be summoned by Snow right after the Victory Tour wraps up. As I leave to ask Wiress if she knows anything, he mutters something so low under his breath that I can't decipher what is, but it makes me think he knows more than he's letting on. I just wish he'd tell me what he suspects Snow wants from me; it might make things a little easier on me. Or, maybe not; what if Snow really is going to hurt me and Beetee doesn't want to terrify me too much?

Wiress shakes her head when I ask her if she'd ever received summons from Snow before. "Sorry, Aurie," she says softly and pats my back. "Well, you are a lovely person…" She trails off and looks past me as though something caught her eye, then looks back at me and says, "Such a lovely person. Stay strong, Aurie. See you soon."

Well, so much for there being an advantage in having fellow victors as neighbors, especially since they're pretty brilliant! Well, Wiress isn't always quite with it. Sometimes she seems like her head is in the clouds, while other times she's able to carry on a lengthy conversation. Perhaps she's the worst if she had a nightmare the night before or something. I suspect I may start having nightmares featuring President Snow.

The worst part of this trip, other than not knowing what Snow wants and the very real fact that I could be severely punished, is that I am to go alone. Not having Wiress or Beetee with me makes me feel completely isolated. They've been by my side the entire time, except for when I was in the arena, of course. I involuntarily shudder at the thought of going back _there_.

The train trip is lonely, as expected. I don't even have Sella or Pietra for company. I have no one to talk to, since the only attendants are Avoxes, who as far as I know, are people who had their tongues mutilated for some sort of crime and are unable to speak. Could that be my fate?

I run my tongue over the roof of my mouth and then my teeth, suddenly treasuring the ability to speak and how much I would be devastated if that was taken from me.

* * *

><p>That night, I do have a nightmare. It's not of President Snow, but of various tributes from the arena threatening to smash my head in with rocks. They promise they'll go easy on me, but when Moarey, from District 2, holds my arms down and Sharlton (her district partner), begins to cut into me with a knife, I know it'll be anything but easy.<p>

I scream myself awake, finding the silky sheets coated in sweat. Feeling lonelier than ever, with no one to talk to about the nightmare, I stare out the window, unable to see anything in the darkness. I'd give anything to have someone, anyone to talk to right now. I'd settle for my shallow prep team, even.

I refuse to go back to sleep and eventually, dawn breaks and I pull on some clothes, dreading what the day could possibly hold in store for me.

* * *

><p>After we pass through the mountains that cut off the Capitol from the rest of Panem I see the highrise buildings creep closer; the train begins to slow down.<p>

Unlike when I arrived here with Parick for the 67th Games, or when I arrived here a couple of days ago for my Victory Party, where the crowds were cheering and waving at me, there's only a small stream of passengers disembarking and boarding trains near me who probably often frequent the train station to take trains to other parts of the Capitol. No one pays much attention to my train and when I step off, very few people notice me, thankfully. The last thing I feel like right now is to deal with hero worshipping.

"Aurie?!" says a boy to my left, sounding very shocked to see me. Well, apparently _someone_ noticed me.

However, the boy who just spoke lacks a Capitol accent. I whip around, thinking he sounds very familiar, but I'm still wondering who I'll see since I can't quite place where I know that voice from, and my mouth falls open when I see Finnick heading in my direction. "What are _you_ doing here?" I ask, completely bowled over.

"I could ask you the same question," he says, furrowing his brow.

"Snow summoned me," I admit. He tells me that he also received summons from Snow, which makes my heart pound in nervousness.

_What could we possibly have done to be both summoned here at the same time?_ I wonder, growing more fearful by the second, more certain than ever that someone overheard our conversation two days ago.

Soon, a Capitol woman approaches us. "Aurie Cransin? Finnick Odair?" We nod, me wondering why she bothered confirming our identities when she certainly must know who we are. "I'm President Snow's assistant, Corella. Follow me please."

Like the good victors we are, we obey her command as she takes us to a car. We get in and don't say anything. I don't look anywhere, other than at my lap, where I begin fiddling with my thumbs, trying not to get a panic attack. That's the last thing I need right now!

The car stops after a short trip and she tells us to once again follow her, so we do. She takes us into a hotel and says that President Snow will see us shortly, but in the meantime we are to wait in one of the rooms that she booked for us.

Once inside the room, Finnick immediately begins pacing back and forth. I find a pen on the table next to the _one _bed in the room, wondering what they're playing at by giving us only the one bed to sleep in. Well, maybe I won't be back here; maybe I'll be locked in a room and be tortured. Unable to get visions of being burned nonstop by fire ants or some other horror out of my head, I grab the pen and click it repeatedly as I watch Finnick pace on the lush light green carpet, unable to think of anything else to do, but guessing that Snow wants us as nervous as possible, so he'll surely make us wait in here so that we can suffer for the maximum amount of time. He wouldn't want to put an end to the mental torture he knows he's putting us through.

I sit on the bed, fully aware of the close confines we're in. Though Finnick looks as gorgeous as ever, I don't find myself as affected as I was two days ago. I suppose it has to do with how preoccupied I am. Otherwise, I'd probably be unnerved being alone with him in this room. He's a flirt and I would like to think he'd never lay a hand on a girl unless she wanted him to, but I have to remind myself I don't know him well at all.

Doing anything flirty or romantic is clearly the farthest thing from his mind as he continues pacing, practically wearing a path into the thick, soft carpet, now also muttering under his breath. He turns toward me and says, "Aurie, you didn't say anything to anyone about our _conversation_ on the way back to the tribute center, did you?"

"Do you think I'm a fool?" I snipe back, immediately regretting lashing out at him. "Sorry."

"It's ok. I understand how you feel. But, did you…"

I cut him off. "No, I'd never repeat our conversation, not even to my parents." What'd be the point, anyway? It'd just get my parents angrier than they already are at the Capitol. "Did you, Finnick?"

"Of course not. I've been playing their games for 2 years now. I know when to keep my mouth shut."

"Why _did_ you open your mouth around me then?" I ask, looking back down at my hands, resuming twiddling my thumbs.

"You're the first person I've met since I won who's not only my age but seems really normal. I was the youngest victor by four years until last year and Jax isn't exactly _normal_."

"And you are?" I raise my eyebrows.

"I'd like to think I am. Unlike him, I didn't consider going to the Games some huge honor."

I shrug and lie down on the soft pillows and stare at ceiling, lapsing into silence, awaiting Snow to finally decide to meet with us. I throw the pen back on the table and instead decide to start filing my nails with something I have in my little rucksack I brought from home.

Finnick loudly flops onto the end of the bed, but doesn't say anything more to me. Instead, he plays with the bands on his arm, twisting them around his wrist and staring at them like they're entrancing. I see his lips move but don't hear him make any noise; I wonder what he's talking to himself about.

Finally, after what feels like 3 months, someone knocks on the door and Finnick goes to see who it is. He opens the door and our escort for the day, Corella, reappears, announcing she'll be taking us to see President Snow now.

We file after her silently and endure another silent ride to Snow's mansion, where I was just 2 short days ago. She takes us to a side door far from the entrance I used when I arrived at the party (which now feels like 7 years ago), then we follow her into an elevator and we endure another silent ride to the floor his office is on. The doors open and we follow her once again and she deposits us in a waiting room and bids us, "Good day."

_Like that's possible,_ I think bitterly and sit down in a chair; Finnick squeezes his hands over and over again. I stare out the window at the stupid, shallow Capitolites far below who could never imagine a life so stressful when their biggest concerns are when their next party invitation is coming.

Finally, the receptionist sends Finnick in to see Snow. I try to relax, refusing to let Snow see how much he's unnerved me as I'm sure that was his main intention. I focus on breathing deeply, determined to keep up this farce when it's my turn to go to his office, waiting for whatever punishment he hands out to me.

Another lifetime passes before Finnick steps out of Snow's office, looking down at the carpet. He shuffles toward the chairs devoid of energy and clunks down in one of them two away from me, holding his hands together, cracking his knuckles.

"Finnick?" I ask softly, wondering what Snow could have possibly said that garnered that reaction from him.

He glances at me, those beautiful sea green eyes full of fury; I look away and try once again to breathe deeply, not knowing of a time I've ever seen him look so angry, except possibly when he was in the Games and those from Districts 1 and 2 killed his lovely district partner. The receptionist immediately calls my name and says that President Snow will see me now.

I take another deep breath and with the most confident stride I possess, I walk into Snow's office, hoping I'm not walking closer to being thrown into a torture chamber or worse, heading toward my deathbed.

"Well, welcome back to the Capitol, Miss Cransin," Snow says, gesturing for me to sit at the chair by his desk.

I'm suddenly hit with the most bizarre combination of smells ever: Roses and blood. He has a rose pinned to his suit; however I've never smelled a rose that was capable of emitting such a strong scent. As for where the smell of blood comes from, I'm at a loss.

"So, you wanted to see me?" I ask in as polite a voice as I can muster.

"I most certainly did, Miss Cransin. You're our newest victor, after all, and I wanted to personally offer you my congratulations."

I open my mouth to ask him why he never did this for Beetee or Wiress and if that's all he wanted, then why is Finnick here looking like he'd love to catch Snow in one of his nets and spear him with his trident? Instead, I think better of it and close my mouth and remain silent.

"Of course, I'm sure you've guessed that's not all I wanted to offer you, or else why would Mr. Odair be sitting outside my office right now?"

"Right," I say tightly.

"You and Mr. Odair are two young, beautiful victors - our youngest right now, as a matter of fact - only recently legal in terms of the Capitol. Our residents become adults at 16, while it is 18 in the Districts."

"Yeah, that's true," I say, wondering why the heck he's telling me all of this. Is he going to demand that I marry one of his grandsons who took a liking to me? Does he have a lonely granddaughter who no one cares for because she's the president's granddaughter and he's going to force marriage on Finnick, too? I mean, who _cares_ that Finnick and I are considered adults in the Capitol but not the districts?

"Of course, Miss Cransin, you are now 17, are you not?" I nod. "I wanted to have you _enjoy_ your time in the spotlight, to properly appreciate your Victory Tour and what you've done to earn a place amongst the other 66 victors who came before you."

"I killed people," I say in a low voice.

"Now, now, I wouldn't think of it like that. You've done your country a huge honor and you should bask in the glory of it. Miss Cransin, you would not believe how many admirers you have in the Capitol."

I do a double take. "I have several admirers in the Capitol?" Hmmm…Beetee and Wiress never told me that; I only knew that a few men seemed interested in me at my party but I figured it was because I was the most recent victor and being a victor here means being considered the most popular celebrity.

"Of course. You are a beautiful young lady, Miss Cransin. Now, your admirers are truly desperate to spend more time with you. Remember the men you danced with at the Victor's Party?" Slowly, I nod, really not liking where this conversation is heading. In the back of my head, I suspect I know what he's eventually going to say, but I start praying he'll say something else. "Well, they are aware that you are of age to consent to what they'd like from you. Can you guess what that might be?"

"I'd rather not. I'd rather not spend any additional time with them," I admit, feeling my stomach begin to sink to the floor as I think, _So I guess he's not going to force marriage on me. But, what could he possibly want from me instead? Consent to…_what_ exactly?_

Snow smiles viciously and says, "I thought you might say that. You really don't like Capitol men very much, do you?" I shake my head, starting to grow angry at him for gaining the upper hand on me; he's probably thrilled at how confused I am. "They paid very extravagant amounts to sponsor you. You should be very grateful for them; without their help in getting you that device you used to electrocute multiple tributes you would not be here now. So, you should understand that there is a debt to be repaid, correct?"

"It was a gift," I say softly. "They can have it back. I'll give them any money they want for their troubles."

"They have enough money to live comfortably, Miss Cransin. However, many of them are truly lonely men who just want the company of a beautiful woman."

The way he says, "beautiful woman," makes my skin crawl. I certainly don't feel like a woman, anyway; I feel like a young girl who should be in school right now. Then, I think back to Finnick calling me beautiful and how different that made me feel; I shake my head at Snow.

"I don't want to spend time with them in any shape or form," I reply firmly, gripping the armrests so tightly I wouldn't be surprised to see finger indentations there.

"I don't think you understand me, Miss Cransin. I am not giving you a choice. Either you agree to my terms of spending time with those that I choose for you, or you will suffer grievous consequences."

"I'd rather die than do anything with them," I say.

"Ah, I thought you might say that, but you see, I won't kill you. That would just end your suffering immediately. No, Miss Cransin, I will kill your family and friends, slowly, one by one. You'll have to sit there helplessly knowing you could've done something to keep them alive."

"No!" I scream. "No, please, no, you can't _do_ that to me!"

"Miss Cransin, behave yourself. This is not becoming behavior of a victor. I can do whatever I want, you'll find, as I am the president. And you'll agree to entertain citizens of the Capitol in every way possibly, including sexually. Now, I know this is not an easy decision, so I will give you until tomorrow to formally make up your mind. I expect you'll come to the _right decision_. Or else, I will have no choice but to show you what happens to victors who think they are too good to submit to their duties as winners of the Hunger Games."

I get up from the chair, unable to say another word to a man so vile that he'd demand I…sell myself…to avoid watching my family be murdered. I shudder at my miserable sentence, stumble toward the door, yank it open and head out to the reception area, now completely understanding why Finnick looked so furious.

I briefly wonder if he'll be waiting for me in the reception area and am immediately greeted by him sitting there, still looking angry.

"Aurie?" he asks in a low voice.

"Let's go, Finnick," I say, doubting my ability to hold it together for a few minutes longer. I am sure I am going to start crying or screaming and start ripping out my hair, and I refuse to do that in that maniac's building where he can likely witness my hysteria on one of the various cameras he has throughout his mansion.

We head for the elevator and I punch the down button so we can journey back to the first floor, step through the doors into an elevator car when it's made available and finally, I collapse against the back wall, my legs shaking uncontrollably.

Once the doors open on the first floor, I grip Finnick to keep myself upright and walk as though I'd drunk all of Chaff's and Haymitch's liquor as we head in the direction of the hotel. Finnick grips me back; I hear him grind his teeth and mutter soft curses under his breath so quietly no one around us would be able to hear what he says. I stay silent, unwilling to talk about the horrifying offer from Snow out in the open.

_I wish I'd died in the Games,_ I think, remembering my mom's tearful plea for me to come home and how determined that made me. What would she think now knowing that my fate is to become some sort of slave for the Capitol? She'd want to murder Snow for sure, but would she rather I had died in the arena instead of being subjected to this new kind of horror?

I can't answer that question, not truly being able to comprehend a parent's love for her child.

I also have no idea when or _if_ I'll even be able to tell her. Would Snow really kill my family and friends if I say no? I know he's a horrible person, but maybe he just wants me to live in fear, every day wondering if he'll kill someone I love. I don't want my loved ones to die because I refused Snow, but the thought of having to do anything sexual with the Capitol freaks that would be so vile as to _pay for my time_ is too awful to contemplate.

Finally, Finnick grabs my arm to pull me to a stop - I had just been walking along blindly holding onto him the whole way for support. I look at the building and see that it's the hotel we were at earlier, so we head inside and back to our room.

He shuts the door behind us and we sit down on the bed a few feet apart but face each other.

"What did Snow say to you, exactly?" Finnick asks, gazing at me with those beautiful sea green eyes, which are now full of concern.

If only I wasn't feeling so traumatized, because the way Finnick's looking at me would probably make me melt inside on any other given day…

"He told me that I had a lot of…admirers. Men. He told me I was young and beautiful." I start gulping, feeling my throat constrict as I'm on the verge of tears. I shake my head and continue softly, "He said they wanted to pay for their time with me and seeing as I'm 16 which is the age of consent here, they could…_have it_."

Talking about Snow's cruel words breaks forth the dam I'd built up – finally, I burst into tears. Finnick moves close to me and pulls me into his arms. I'm so grateful for the warmth of a nice person, that I wrap my arms around him tightly and soak his shirt with my tears – he stays silent and just lets me cry, only breaking the silence every now and then to say, "Shhhh, it's ok, Aurie."

I cling to him like I would any family member back home and say, "No it's not! Snow said he'd kill my family and friends if I refuse. I told him I'd rather die than do anything with these men. He wouldn't really _do_ that, would he? He's not that cruel and twisted, is he? He's just threatening me, isn't he Finnick? Come on, tell me it's just an empty threat! Did he say something similar to you? Is it that bad for you when you spend several weeks here flirting, anyway. You sure looked angry."

Finnick hands me a tissue so that I can blow my nose and when I look at him to thank him for the small gesture, I see his eyes have grown wet, but there's still a bit of rage there. "And just because I flirt with the women here I want to be forced into prostitution with them? Come on, Aurie, you're from District 3; aren't you smarter than that?"

_Well, that was awfully rude of me, wasn't it?_ I think and cringe. I offer an apology for being so insensitive but make the excuse that I'm just distressed that I'm not thinking properly.

He shakes his head and says, "Well, it's what they're all going to think, isn't it? People already think I'm slimy for coming here and flirting; they'll expect me to have _affairs _with these women now that I'm old enough to." He wrinkles his nose and explains how he _only_ flirted and did it at Snow's insistence thanks to being so popular with the Capitolites here. "Apparently, he'd never seen someone become so popular in all his years as president and he said he could not let down all of the people who sponsored me." Finnick goes on to explain that Snow told him that seeing as they paid all of that money for him to get the trident he was expected to make multiple appearances at the Capitol, going to various parties and charming the women and then he'd spend time with the other victors filming Capitol propaganda to get everyone "excited" about the Games. But, seeing as he was only fourteen, he found it repulsive that he'd be expected to do any of that; he was a victor now so he could do whatever he wanted, so he jumped on the next train home, thoroughly disturbed that women in their 20's and 30's were attracted to someone so young. Unfortunately, he came home to see his mom and sister weeping; his dad had been in a boating accident which he found suspicious because apparently his dad was a master of the seas. It occurred to him that Snow meant business about his proposition for Finnick seeing as he keeps the Hunger Games going and delights in watching 23 district children die year after year, and apparently can kill off victor's loved ones with ease, so when he showed up in the district, Finnick agreed to his terms.

Finnick laughs bitterly. "You know what he said to me then?" I shake my head. "It was something to the effect of, 'Ah, the women will be ever so pleased, Mr. Odair.' Then he went into how fortunate I was to only be 14 or else I'd be spending more time in the Capitol like many other victors, whatever that meant - I was so naïve! He said to me the next year when I was mentoring for the first time that I was still lucky to be 15 because the women were supposedly "in love" with me. I tried not to throw up at that comment and instead acted like what he said meant nothing to me, even though it confused me about him saying I was lucky. As for why he didn't demand me selling myself right when I turned 16, he just told me he wanted me to 'slip into a false sense of security' like the 'arrogant' victor I am. I was just stupid to not have seen this coming! I'll be 17 tomorrow; I should've figured he'd sentence me to something a lot worse than shooting ridiculous Capitol propaganda and only coming across as a vain jerk by flirting with endless women at mind numbing functions. But, do you get it, Aurie? If we don't want the rest of those we love to die, then we have to do what he says."

He drops his head into his hands and shakes his head back and forth.

"There's no way out of this? Snow is serious? I'm gonna be sick," I reply, feeling every bit of food I've eaten that day threatening to make a reappearance. The room begins to spin, too. "Finnick, I think I might…pass out."

"Hold on, Aurie, put your head between your legs and take deep breaths until it passes," he instructs and because I barely comprehend what he says, he pushes my head down and commands me to breathe deeply.

Once the feeling passes, I sit back up and look at Finnick, whose eyes look red, as though he's finally realized what it means to be an appealing victor and that he no longer has control over his life. Somehow, in the almost 3 years I've known of Finnick Odair, I never thought I'd see him _cry_. He really is different than everyone thinks. Capitol Finnick, as I'm calling him in his head, would never look anything else than perfectly put together and of course, he'd always look very happy.

"Finnick, I…can't…do…it," I say, trying not to cry hysterically again - I've got to get a grip; I've seen and caused death. Of course, that's probably contributing to how unhinged I feel all the time. "I mean, I really can't. I don't want to do a damn thing with these disgusting pigs who might look like creatures from nightmares and who might be double my age, or more!"

And, of course, I really just want sex to be something special, with someone I love. I don't voice this to Finnick, unsure if he'd laugh at me for having such romantic notions of sex. He may not like flirting with women here, but I'm sure he doesn't have the same ideals that I do. He is a boy, after all. He'd probably find it amusing that I'm still a virgin at 17.

He shakes his head. "I really don't want Snow to kill my mom and sister or my aunts, uncles or cousins. I don't want him hurting my friends. This is a living nightmare, one that doesn't go away. But, could you live with yourself if they kill your parents?"

"No, I love my parents so much!" I say and start crying again, despite all of my attempts not to. "Finnick, this is the worst thing in the world! I'd have died in that arena if I was forced to have sex with someone. I mean, if they threatened killing me if I didn't have sex with someone, I would've let them kill me."

Finnick does a double take at this announcement; I wish I'd kept my mouth shut. Though, I don't know why I care so much what he thinks; he's not the one I have to have sex with to keep Snow from killing my family.

"Sure, you'd let them kill you, but it's different when it's your family."

"You're going to say 'yes' to Snow, aren't you?" I ask in a low voice.

"Aurie, what choice do I have? None!" he says in an exasperated voice. "If you can live with your family and friends being killed, then tell Snow 'no'."

"I can't live with them being killed but…I c-can't, Finnick. I mean, I really CAN'T!" I'm aware of how my voice has gone up several octaves.

"Shhhhh," Finnick says, pulling me back into his arms, which has a relaxing affect, as his arms feel so strong and protective. "Why not, Aurie? I mean, it'll be horrible, but if you picture some gorgeous boy you like back home, I'm sure you can get through it. A boyfriend, maybe?"

"I'm a virgin, Finnick!" I admit and then cry even harder.

"Oh shit," he says softly.

"Good girls don't do this stuff in District 3," I tell him. "Only the slags do it and then it's well known who they are. The rest of us wait until we finish school at 18, get married and get good jobs and if we haven't found a boyfriend by then, we keep looking. Sex is just not much of a priority when we're so concerned with inventing new technology or even just mastering the stuff that's already out. Plus, in my case, I wasn't even interested in any of the boys in my district. I don't know why; they just don't appeal to me." _Not like you do_, I finish silently. It's astonishing that I just admitted to someone I barely know that I've never had sex before. My friends all know that, but that's because I've been friends with them for years and none of us are slags.

"Really? You've never been interested in one single boy from your district?" Finnick furrows his brow in surprise. "What about someone from another district?" He winks so I know he means himself, and this bit of lightness in the midst of such a depressing situation actually makes me laugh.

"Yeah, Odair, I'm definitely in love with a certain District 4 boy. Any chance you can introduce me to Carlyle?" (Carlyle is the victor of the 59th Games. While he's good looking, he's too old for me. Still, I could not resist faking Finnick out like that.)

Finnick laughs, hard. "Good one. I have Carlyle's number; he's one of my neighbors of course so I'll let him know you're interested."

I giggle, honestly relieved for a break from the depressing matter at hand. "Please let him know as soon as you're back in 4."

He laughs and then gazes into my eyes – our laughter dies away and I feel my heart speed up. For the first time that day, the closeness we share feels a little more than just two people desperate for someone to hold onto during a miserable moment.

"Aurie," he says softly.

"Hmmm?" I reply equally as soft, staring into those sea green eyes. Despite everything, I can feel myself drowning in them and thinking that maybe it's not such a bad place to be.

"I have something to tell you." He sounds so serious that I stop staring into his eyes and listen to him carefully. "Um, I'm a virgin too."

My mouth falls open. "Seriously? You? Finnick Odair is a virgin?"

He frowns at me. "Why is _that_ so hard to believe? I don't want any of those Capitol women, you know!"

"You must have girls from District 4 after you all the time, though."

"Yes, I do. Not the ones I actually want. The girls I want are girls like you, the good ones, the ones who avoid 'Capitol flirt' Finnick Odair. The girls who want me are the slags. I had a girlfriend when I went into the arena. I though she would've been my first at some point, but when I came back, of course I was different than she expected, thanks to all of Snow's (and the Gamemakers') mutts. Besides, I'd seen and caused death. I knew she'd be angry at me not talking about her in my interview with Caesar, but my stylist told me I'd be more likely to have sponsors if I was single. So, she broke up with me a month after I came back, which I should've expected, but didn't." He shrugs like it's no big deal but considering I know what it's like to have people look at you differently after your Games, I know it's anything but. He goes on to say that he never told anyone this before, which makes me feel pretty chuffed, even if it's petty, but I can't help it. He explains his friends of course knew his girlfriend dumped him but not exactly why, but he feels he can _really_ talk to me since I'm the only victor who's his age and surely, the only other virgin to come out of the Games in quite some time. Then, he laughs a couple of times, very falsely and then shakes his head. "This whole situation is fucked up, Aurie. And, we're completely trapped with no way out."

xxxxxxx

Well, hope you liked the "big reveal" (well, it wasn't quite so big considered it's spoiled in the story description). If you haven't followed/favorited, it'd mean a lot if you did (if you like the story enough to do so)! Also, please review! Reviews mean everything.

Til next time... enjoy your week.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks to everyone who followed and reviewed since the last chapter. Sorry this one took a little longer than usual; life has a tendency to get in the way! Hope you love chapter four. Please review if you do!

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><p><span>Chapter Four<span>

Feeling dejected from Finnick's statement, I decide that I'm going to take a nap; I don't care what time it is. After all, it's not like I slept very well on the train ride here anyway.

I tell this to Finnick and he replies, "That sounds really good. I'll join you. I mean…not like that!"

I laugh slightly. "It's ok, Finnick. I know what you mean."

We lie down on top of the duvet and attempt to fall asleep.

Well, I'm not sure how successful Finnick was, but I find myself stuck in a very restless sleep with dreams punctured with creepy Capitol men suffocating me and shoving me around. When I wake up, I head for the bathroom to take a shower and think about what I am going to tell my parents. I suppose I'll talk to Snow first. Perhaps he will let me go back home in the meantime or something and allow me the chance to tell them in person.

The hot water pours over me for I don't know how long, but it must've been long enough to concern Finnick because eventually he knocks on the door and asks if I'm ok in there. I reply that I'm fine and he says something that sounds like, "Oh, good, was worried there for a sec."

Did he think I'd drowned in the shower by accident or that I'd actually try to kill myself? Only the weak do something as cowardly as take their own lives. I can't imagine the pain I'd put my family through if I were to do that, besides. Maybe Finnick's known of other victors who tried to kill themselves when things got too badly, like if their family was all killed off, or something.

Finally, I step out of the shower, towel myself dry and emerge from the bathroom in just the towel, completely forgetting my surroundings for a second.

"Whoa!" Finnick gasps when he sees me, his eyes growing as wide as saucers.

"Um." I grip the towel around myself and avert my eyes. This awkward feeling going through me makes me wonder how the hell I'm ever going to let some horrible, freaky, old Capitol man touch me in a matter of days when I can't even handle someone as attractive as Finnick looking at me; it's not like he can even _see_ anything!

He keeps staring at me, then finally seems to come to and looks away, his cheeks burning as though he saw something he shouldn't have. As I rummage through my belongings for something different to wear, he heads into the bathroom. I hear some weird grunting and try not to laugh. It appears that he had to go to the bathroom _really_ badly. Obviously, whatever he ate earlier today didn't really agree with him.

As I slide my bra and underwear on, I decide to tease him about it. Anything to distract us from the bad situation we're in! I'd tease either of my brothers about it. Of course, the way I think about Finnick is just a little different than as a brother…

After pulling my trousers on, Finnick steps out of the bathroom, so I hurriedly tug my shirt on over my head, but seeing as it's one of those stretchy shirts (I thought it'd be slightly more Capitol appropriate and seeing as I was trying to avoid Snow killing me, it seemed like the best idea at the time) with a small opening for my head, it gets stuck, causing me to flail around blindly, tripping into the bed. "Ahhhh!" I call out.

Hearing Finnick's footfalls behind me, his strong hands assist me with tugging the shirt on. I right myself and find him mere inches away; instantly I perspire slightly. I have no idea how to handle that, so I say distractedly, "So, tough time in the bathroom just now, Odair. Will I be able to go in there in a few minutes or will I be asphyxiated?"

"Huh?" He looks so confused, which is an adorable look for him. It makes him look every bit of the sixteen year old he is. "Why would you think…oh."

Now I'm the one who's confused. "Can you explain to me in English, please?"

His face goes red and he coughs. "I, uh, well, do you have brothers?"

"Not sure what my brothers have to do with you stinking up the bathroom," I ask, crossing my arms in front of my chest, trying not to laugh at how cute and embarrassed he is.

"You have brothers, though?" I nod. "Ok, think for a second if they've ever gotten really, _overwhelmed_, by a girl and they ever needed to excuse themselves."

I rack my brain and then remember my brother Shef frantically washing his sheets early one morning. He was so embarrassed that I figured he wet the bed and I asked if he was going to tell our parents. He looked like he was going to kill me and he told me that he had had a very good dream about a girl in his class he liked. I still remember him saying to me, "Get it through your head, Aurie!" He was 15 at the time; I was 12 and I didn't understand anything about how a male's body works, but finally I figured out that he'd soiled his sheets because of a dream that was too _intense_.

"Um yeah, that did happen, I guess," I say slowly. "But what does that have to do with…?"

"For a girl from District 3, you're not very bright." Finnick groans. "Put two and two together. Trust me, the bathroom doesn't stink."

And then I figure it out. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry, it's all my fault, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it is, Cransin. Damnit, what were you doing coming out of that bathroom in that little towel?"

"I forgot where I was for a second, Odair. Please, don't think I was trying to torment you."

"Yeah right, but that's ok, I'll get you back at some point."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I frown playfully at him.

"Oh, wouldn't you like to know?" He winks at me which makes me feel like I'm one of those stupid airheaded shallow Capitol women he flirts with all the damn time.

I sit down on the bed and face away from him. "No, forget it, Odair."

He walks away, muttering something like, "Women, can't live with them…"

Deciding to give Finnick the silent treatment for a while, I ignore him and try to think about what I'd be doing if I were back in District 3. For whatever reason, picturing myself at my parent's workshop fixing a new electronic device reminds me of the electro cuter I used in the Games. Eventually, I'm sucked back into bad memories of the arena and try as I might to stay focused on where I am, eventually, I succumb to the flashbacks. I see the red haired girl from District 10 who I caught in my snare. I killed her because I didn't see the point of making a snare to catch someone and just letting her hang there upside down. Her name, I found out on the Victory Tour, was Esmey, and instead of me catching her in this flashback, the tables have turned and now she stands over me with a rope she's turned into a noose. "You think you can escape me now that you've killed me?" she hisses angrily.

"No, I'm sorry, I just wanted to get out of the arena! I couldn't do that while people were alive. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, please forgive me, Esmey," I beg, but she shakes her head and wraps the noose around my neck.

"See how you like being caught in a snare. Better yet, see how you like suffocating to death," she replies angrily.

"No!" I scream. "Please let me go. You're dead. You're DEAD! You can't hurt me!"

Her face fades away; the ceiling of the hotel room reappears. I'm now curled up into a ball on the floor, sobbing and shaking - Finnick hovers over me now, clutching my hand. He says, "Aurie? Are you there? Come back to me!"

I focus on his intense sea green eyes and whisper, "One of the girls I killed tried to hang me."

"It's not real, Aurie. I promise you it's not. I see them too, you know. The ones I killed."

I whimper, pathetically. "I keep seeing their faces. I just want them to go away."

"They never will," he says softly and then offers me a hand. I take it and he pulls me back to my feet. "Hey, do you want to get something to eat? Get out of this room? I'm starting to feel like the walls are closing in on me. I can't take being here any longer."

I nod slowly and tell him I just need a few more minutes to recover. He smiles slightly and heads over by a mirror where he fixes up his hair. I watch him yank off the shirt he'd been wearing all day and search for something else to wear. I'm unable to tear my eyes off his rippling muscles and tanned chest. Finally, he pulls on a dark green thin, deep v-necked t-shirt.

To cover up the fact that I'd been staring at his amazing body, when he turns toward me, I roll my eyes at him, which causes him to ask me what my problem is and I tell him that the primping and preening is.

"The Capitol's favorite victor is hitting the streets; I need to look my best, Aurie babe," he says in a very haughty tone, completing the effect with a sleazy wink.

Pretending to be a Capitol idiot, I clutch my heart and pretend to faint, the way so many women did when he was interviewed right before he went into the arena nearly three years ago.

"Well come on, doll, we don't want to keep the people waiting. They'll be so very pleased to see us," he actually purrs and then offers me his arm, which I clutch, feeling truly idiotic.

"Think I liked the other Finnick Odair better," I tell him before we exit the room. "That one didn't sound like an arrogant idiot."

He shrugs, putting his finger to his lips; I know that I can't utter anything out of character outside of this room that would reveal the true Finnick to anyone. We head out of the room and eventually out of the hotel, trying to make up our minds on where to go to get something to eat.

We walk a couple of blocks when suddenly a few women realize exactly who's out for a night on the town. They all shriek and crowd us. I hear, "Finnick, I love you," and, "Finnick, marry me," and, "You're so sexy!" A few look at me and smile, not seeming overly bothered that Finnick has a date for the night.

"Isn't that precious, Finnick Odair and Aurie Cransin, two victors finding love?" someone says sweetly and the crowd begins to giggle and clap.

"How'd you decide you loved each other?" one girl, who narrows her eyes at me, says.

"We're not in love, ladies," Finnick says in that haughty tone before laughing very lightly. "We're just fellow victors on a stroll looking for something delicious to eat."

"I volunteer as tribute for _that_," some girl says nearby me. "You can eat me all you want. I'm sure I'd be plenty delicious to you."

Her imitating the dialogue of how someone volunteers to go into the Games makes me feel more than slightly upset and though I don't know what she means by wanting Finnick to eat her, it sounds very disgusting. I guarantee she doesn't mean she wants him to turn cannibal on her. Heck, the Capitolites don't even like watching mad tributes resort to cannibalism in the arena!

Finnick pretends not to hear her and just smiles at all of them that blindingly bright trademark Finnick Odair smile. "As much as I'd like to entertain you all tonight, unfortunately, my stomach is in need of some good eats." He winks and playfully rubs his belly, which makes them all giggle like idiots.

They beg Finnick to take them all with us on one massive group date, the very thought making me shudder. I cannot stand listening to these morons all night, nor can I deal with fake, flirty Finnick for much longer, either.

"I'm really sorry, ladies," Finnick says, putting his hands to his heart like it's actually painful to leave them, so he compromises by getting all of their contact information and promises he'll keep in touch. They giggle some more and tell him they're holding him to that deal.

One of the least annoying women of the bunch directs us down the street toward a top rated steak restaurant, so we head there.

We step inside the restaurant a few minutes later and are immediately given a table in a secluded corner and are told we can expect whatever we'd like and to let the head waiter know if there is a single thing we find dissatisfactory - he will let the restaurant owner know so that it can be immediately corrected.

The lighting at the table is so dim that it's actually kind of challenging to read the menus. Finally, after being fawned over repeatedly, our orders are taken. It's actually quite unnerving and no, I don't enjoy it much. I'll take District 3 and being treated like relatively the same person, except for being stared at every now and then, over being treated like some celebrity. Of course, the victors _are_ the Capitol's favorite celebrities and I'm on a "date" with the most popular one. So, it'd make sense to be treated like the most important people in Panem, besides President Snow, I guess.

Just thinking about that evil man's name makes my stomach twist, so I take a small sip of the wine and decide that I'll ask Finnick all about District 4, which will hopefully do the trick of distracting me from thinking about tomorrow's meeting.

Finnick talks to me in a low voice all about the district, which sounds lovely. I can't imagine being able to swim since practically the day I was born, nor can I imagine seeing the beautiful colors of a sunrise or sunset at the beach. District 3 has very little natural beauty; we're so immersed in technology that all of our beauty is manmade – neon signs on buildings and things like that. I tell Finnick about this and he nods and tells me that during his short stop at my district on his Victory Tour that it seemed like an, as he calls it, "artificial," district, with little green space. It's my district and I love it because I enjoy fiddling with tech gadgets but I'd give anything to have been able to spend more than five seconds in his district on my Victory Tour, besides at the Justice Building.

Whenever someone notices that two victors, one of them being Finnick Odair, are dining in the restaurant, they pester him for some personal time. He indulges them in the appropriate bit of attention, causing them to leave the table clutching each other in effort to, I guess, not faint.

I laugh at their behavior and cover it up by stuffing a roll in my mouth, which almost makes me choke. I spit it out and Finnick begins laughing, too. He covers that up by reaching for his glass of water and taking an overlarge gulp of it, which causes him to start coughing.

"Oh, Odair, we can't take you anywhere," I say in mock annoyance.

"Says the girl who almost choked on her roll. Have you _no_ table manners whatsoever?" he replies indignantly.

We both start laughing, really and truly laughing. Suddenly, our wait-staff appear with our plates of food. One of them, with a name plate that says, "Sterling," on it asks if we're ok or if we need to be excused.

Finnick and I both manage to stop our laughing and politely decline, not wanting to Snow to think we were acting as unfit victors, for fear of what he'd do to those we love back home. Somehow, I know that two victors laughing hysterically in a restaurant would definitely be reported to him. After all, I'm sure all restaurants are monitored by him all the time. Surely, he likes knowing what the victors are up to and I'm sure Finnick and I aren't the first to frequent this establishment.

Still, every time my eyes meet Finnick's, I can see the corners of his lips play up like he wants to laugh again. I do too, but every time I think about laughing, I take a bite of steak and concentrate on keeping my lips together. I must act dignified.

I contemplate my life in a different era and what it'd be like to be on a real date with a boy I genuinely like and what it'd be like to not have to watch every single thing I say for fear of retribution. However, there's no point in fantasizing about something that'll never exist so why get wistful about it? When it comes to being on a date with someone I genuinely like, I know for a fact that I could do a lot worse than Finnick, though in my fantasy, he'd never have to pretend to be someone he's not. I wouldn't have to worry about gross women putting their hands all over him.

_Oh damnit, Aurie, can't you stop thinking about _that_ for one second?_ I scold myself, but honestly, how could I forget the fate and Finnick and I are about to suffer? It's not like not thinking about it will make it go away!

I quietly eat the rest of my meal. Finnick nudges my hand that I placed on the table with his own hand; I look at him and he gives me a little sideways smile, which I return. I wonder briefly if he'd think I was beautiful, like he said I was at the Victor's Party, if he'd grown up with me. Somehow, I find it kind of doubtful that a boy as gorgeous as him would ever have really given me the time of day if we'd been District 3 or 4 classmates. My pale skin would stick out like a sore thumb in his district and his tan would clash with how everyone except those with naturally dark complexions look in my district.

Finally, we both finish our meals and leave the restaurant. We stand outside the outside of the building, me wondering what to do now. Finnick solves the issue by asking me if there's anywhere I'd like to go. I shrug because I don't know anything about the Capitol other than the training center/remake center or Snow's mansion.

He offers to take me down by the river which is a few blocks from here, according to a digital map near the restaurant. We head in that direction, which doesn't appear to be too close to Snow's mansion, though I suppose he could stalk us anyway. I bet I still have that horrible tracker in my arm from the Games. They're supposed to be disabled once the victor is removed from the arena, but if Snow can force us to sell ourselves, then I don't see why he couldn't just reactivate our trackers. I shudder at the thought of Snow watching my every move, no matter if I'm in the Capitol or back home.

The walk to the river is somewhat devoid of other foot traffic, so at least Finnick and I are undisturbed by annoying women obsessed with tearing his clothes off. I will myself to stop thinking of those creepy women, some of them with 3 inch, blood red talons, getting their hands on him and forcing him to do horrible things that I can't even imagine, because we don't get sex education in District 3 schools. Shuddering, I think that somehow, I'll have to do just as horrible acts with men who might also have 3 inch talons for all I know.

"Hey, you ok, Aurie?" Finnick asks gently as we get closer to the river – I can see a glimpse of it between a few of the buildings.

I shrug. "Just a little cold is all." I'm such a liar but Finnick doesn't notice so he offers me his jacket, which I drape over my shoulders. I can't help but notice how nice it smells; he uses really nice cologne, apparently.

Finally, we arrive at the river bank and I sigh in contentment. Finnick voices that he's not too impressed by the river; I remind him that something like this would be considered quite the luxury in District 3 where there's little natural bodies of water.

"You would love the sea of District 4," he tells me; I nod in response and sit in a bench near the edge of the water. He sits right next to me and we stare at the water as it peacefully heads downstream.

I tell him how peaceful I find the water and he responds, "The sea is like this, only more-so. The waves lap on the shore in the most soft, relaxing way. I actually fell asleep on the sand more than once in the last few years, when things got to be too much to handle."

"Mmmm, I bet that helped." I close my eyes and imagine something better than this river's tiny ripples on the bank, but fail because I've never heard the sound he's describing.

Suddenly, I feel the warmth of his fingers slip between mine. My eyes fly open and I stare at our linked hands – my hand now feels as though it's burning up from the electrical current passing through it. I lean closer to him, rest my head against his shoulder and then close my eyes, trying to pretend that my life isn't about to become nightmarish. If only I could freeze this moment and never ever let it go.

"Aurie," I hear Finnick's soft voice whisper.

"Hmmmm?" I say, my mind too distracted to think about much else, which is actually a quite wonderful change.

"I wish we could stay here forever," he says wistfully.

"I know; I do too." I turn toward him and then notice that our faces are just a few inches apart. I gasp; his face comes closer to mine. The next thing I feel are his soft, warm lips gently pressing into mine.

_Mmmmmm_, I think. _No wonder people in relationships kiss all the time. It's amazing!_

The kiss lasts for just a few seconds, but when Finnick pulls away, I slide closer to him yet and kiss him again. His breathing grows heavier as we begin to adjust the positions of our lips, me kind of just going along with whatever he does because I have zero experience kissing.

He shifts so that there's no space between us and wraps his arms around my waist. His legs move between mine, causing warmth to rush throughout my entire body. Then, I do the only thing that makes sense – I dig my hands into his gorgeous wavy locks and fantasize about getting something out of this rather unfortunate post-Hunger Games experience – a caring boyfriend, something I'd have never thought possible.

Suddenly, Finnick jerks apart from me and gasps, "What are we _doing?_ We're not thinking! Anyone, literally _anyone_ could walk past us and see us kissing. Do you honestly think Snow would be happy about that?"

"Um…" I'm at a loss for a reply, because my lips are still tingling from him kissing me and I've grown lightheaded from the past few seconds (minutes?). "I don't know? We haven't agreed to anything from Snow yet. We don't have any people to do any sexual things with yet. We were on a date after all; wouldn't that upset him just as much?"

He shakes his head. "Oh, Aurie, you haven't been playing the game like I have. Dates with random victors are ok – it could just be publicity, after all. But, a romantic kiss on the deserted riverside? Snow will look at that just a little bit differently."

I look down. "Oh. Now I feel like an idiot."

"And I should know better." He mutters something under his breath that sounds like, "Damnit Odair."

I look down at my hands and say, "Then I guess we should go back to the hotel."

He nods and we walk back, me feeling thoroughly awkward. Now, I have no idea what to say to him. What do you say to someone you just shared an intense kiss with, especially if they appear to be in a bad mood? I wish I could ask my friends who have all kissed a few boys in the past few years. Too bad that's out of the question.

The walk back to the hotel is quiet one; once inside we silently make our way back to the room and don't say anything upon entering.

I glance at the clock which reads 9:57 and sigh. I'm not overly tired, but I have zero desire to sit in a hotel room with a boy who doesn't want to talk to me, nor do I want to watch ridiculous Capitol television shows.

"I'm sorry, Aurie," Finnick begins after he sits on the bed and pulls his shoes off.

"Sorry for what, exactly, Finnick?" I ask uncertainly.

"For letting my emotions get the best of me. I enjoyed kissing you, but what's the point of that? It's not like Snow would allow us to become a couple to escape his sentence, you realize. I don't want you to fall for me. What would be the damn point of it all?"

I don't know how to reply to that so I stay silent.

Finnick turns the television on, despite my objections, insisting that we need to know if Snow's had anyone report about us and the news should reveal anything new.

Sure enough, the top news story (again, another reminder of how frivolous they are here) is about, "Wait for it ladies, thee Finnick Odair and newest victor, fabulous Aurie Cransin, out on a date in the Capitol."

I sit up straighter, wondering what they'll say about us.

The video footage is some shaky handheld camera that is surely one of the cheaper designed ones, probably worked on by someone at my parents' company for those with less money to spend. Whoever filmed it catches Finnick at the best angles, making him look as gorgeous as possible. I stand off to the side frowning and looking generally annoyed by the women gushing over him. As irritating as they were, I know I need to get better at putting on a neutral face whenever I go out in public.

The news reporters fan themselves over how mesmerizing Finnick looks and how delightfully new I appear. They call my annoyed face endearingly charming (huh?) but say that I better get better at handling my man getting so much attention from women – it's certainly not going to go away.

They say little more of substance in regards to us, except to debate if I'm the lucky girl to win Finnick's heart. They seem extremely concerned that us being together would cause devastation felt by all of the women who would be heartbroken, but then they decide that us being together is surely just him trying to show me off to the public as I'm such a beautiful girl who everyone needs to get to know better. By the end of the discussion, they have us painted as little more than best friends, especially since he never held my hand at any point.

Finnick breathes a sigh of relief when it ends then turns towards to me and explains once again why someone seeing us kiss would spell disaster for us.

"They don't want me to be taken, Aurie," he concludes and falls into silence.

I watch the news to see what other rubbish they're talking about. They launch into a spiel about which districts are the Capitol's favorites. Then a poll pops up on the screen that you can vote on (with results revealed at the end of the show) titled "Which district has your favorite victors?" The options are: 1, 2, 4 and other. Of course, they'd feature the Career districts on their ridiculous poll.

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><p>Somehow, I must fall asleep at some point because when I open my eyes, the television and lights are off and I hear even, heavy breathing coming from Finnick who is faced away from me. I get up to use the toilet and change into something a little more comfortable to sleep in and then crawl into bed, wondering how much of a chance I have of getting more sleep, seeing as our meeting with Snow is at 9. I won't have to worry about making time for eating – I doubt I'll be able to eat a bite.<p>

My dreams are first haunted by Snow's cold, snake-like eyes staring me down, burning holes in me. This turns into a dream about all twenty-three dead tributes from my Games rushing me as I'm frozen to my pedestal. They hold me down and beat me in various ways, me screaming for them to leave me alone. Then, suddenly, I'm back in front of my home, watching it burn down, unable to run toward it, watching my parents trapped on the upper level, their hair on fire. I scream at them to just jump from the window but they don't appear hear me. Suddenly, someone places their hand over my mouth and yanks me away, then throws a bag over my head and everything goes black.

"Aurie?!" I hear suddenly, which jerks me awake.

I clutch my face, which is covered in sweat and tears, open my eyes and discover no bag is over my head; I shake under the covers as Finnick moves closer to me and pulls me into his arms.

"It's ok. They're just dreams. They can't hurt you," he says soothingly and keeps his arms around me tightly.

Slowly, my breath slows down and I relax in his arms, somehow eventually drifting back to sleep.

However, I wake up what feels like mere minutes later. Finnick still has his arms around me, but is now holding me looser. I twist around in his arms and stare at the clock which reads 4:23. From that point on, no matter how long I lay there, I'm unable to fall back to sleep. Instead, I listen to Finnick's breathing and his heartbeat. Even though I can't get back to sleep, I find it relaxing to be so close to him.

Finally, his alarm goes off, so he unwinds his arms from around me and sighs as he rubs his eyes. "Day of reckoning, Aurie."

I nod wearily, feeling completely drained.

"You ok? You look exhausted. Did you get much sleep after you awoke from the nightmares?"

I shake my head, wishing I didn't look so obviously worn down; I'm unable to move so I lay there as he announces he'll take a shower and change his clothes.

Once he disappears into the bathroom, I stay in the fetal position, running through potential conversations with my parents over and over in my head, each one more terrible than the last. I can't see how I'm ever going to be able to convince them of my reasons for spending more time here since I'll be unlikely to be able to tell them the truth because I'm sure the phones in the Capitol are tapped, unless Snow lets me go home and explain to them in person.

Finnick and I don't say very much, nor do we have much of an appetite, so we barely eat anything at breakfast. When Snow's escort, Corella, comes to collect us, we slink out of the hotel looking kind of lifeless. Fortunately, we just need to get into the car waiting for us right outside the entrance so Finnick doesn't need to put on his fake persona.

I stare out the window at all of the hustle and bustle of the Capitol, my eyes so unfocused that I don't take in any of the surroundings. I glumly rest my chin in my hand and wish I could yank the door open and run free forever until I reach the boundaries of Panem. Maybe there's something else, somewhere out there.

I snap out of my thoughts once the car comes to a stop and the front doors open. I glance over at Finnick, who has also opened his door, so I do the same and cross my arms in front of my chest as we walk toward the same entrance in Snow's mansion as we did yesterday, where we will then head toward his office so that we can attend the meeting that is going to change our lives for the worst. From this point on, I'll never be able to go back to the life I had before today.

Finnick walks in front of me; I bring up the rear of the single file pack that the three of us make. I stare at his back, watching his arms swing back and forth as he steps inside the building; I follow suit and not much later we're deposited inside the reception area of Snow's office. The two of us don't acknowledge Corella when she bids us, "Good day," just as she did yesterday. There is literally nothing good about this day!

I take a seat by the window, staring outside and briefly wishing I could jump through it and fly away like the birds. It's hard not to be envious of creatures that are free to go wherever they please. Finnick sits next to me and gently places his hand over mine and squeezes it, but lets it go before I can react. However, I turn and look at him, gazing into his eyes then and wishing I could just kiss him like last night. If only I didn't have a meeting with the most evil man in the world in a few minutes!

The receptionist announces a few minutes later that we can go in together to see Snow. Finnick and I walk side by side toward Snow's office and just before he pushes the door open, he grabs my hand.

"What are you doing?" I whisper.

"Just go with it, ok?" he replies softly and with that, he pushes the door open, looking more serious than I've ever seen him.

I take a deep breath and step into Snow's office, trying not to pass out as the door closes behind us.

"Holding hands?" Snow says, hissing out the last letter of the sentence, sounding like a snake. "Lovely." What a liar he is. "Please, have a seat you two." He gestures at chairs right in front of his desk. "I've been awaiting your responses, Mr. Odair and Miss Cransin. I assume by your display of solidarity," he says, nodding at our still linked hands, "that you two have come to the same consensus?" He gives us a sickly sweet smile that has nothing but malice behind it. His smile also matches the sweet scent of the roses on his desk – he has another one pinned to his lapel – the overpowering smell makes me feel ill.

My stomach drops as Finnick and I take seats, him refusing to let my hand go, despite the fact that mine has started to cold sweat as well as shake slightly.

I nod slightly, causing Snow to chuckle, which is awfully disturbing, coming from him. "Delightful," he says. "Might I ask as to what your responses are, then?"

"Yes," I whisper, trying to stare at him defiantly, to let him know that I'm not terrified of him, even though of course I am. This is a man who can kill people as easily as I turned on the shower last night.

"What was that, Miss Cransin? I didn't quite hear you." His grin grows wider, however, so I know that he definitely heard me.

"She said, 'yes'," Finnick replies louder. "We both say yes, because we don't want our families to die."

"Indeed, Mr. Odair," Snow says, staring Finnick down. "We wouldn't want there to be any more _accidents_ involving your family, now would we?"

Now, Finnick's hand is shaking in mine, but when I glance at him out of the corner of my eye, I see that he looks furious more than afraid. "Accidents," he repeats in a low, angry voice. "It's really amazing what you define as an accident, isn't it, Snow?"

"Watch yourself, Mr. Odair," Snow says in a cool but threatening tone, his gaze unwavering. "I'd hate for your sister to accidentally sleep walk into the ocean and drown, wouldn't you?"

Finnick's lips grow thin and though he glares at Snow, he says nothing more.

"Well then," Snow says almost jovially, as though he didn't just tell two young people that he's forcing them to sell themselves one hundred percent against their will.

I have a fleeting fantasy of holding up the electro cuter device that I had in the arena and sticking it to his neck and hitting the switch. He's the one person I wish I could watch die. Who knew I could be so blood thirsty?

Snow continues, "The Capitol men and women will be so delighted to have new victors to choose from. They need variety from the ones they spend time with." Rage starts bubbling in my stomach at those words. We are literally nothing more to Snow than playthings for him. It's not just us; it's everyone! I start squeezing Finnick's hand so tightly that I worry that I could break his fingers, so I loosen up my grip just a tiny bit and listen to more of Snow's speech. "You will have one week to find somewhere to stay now that you're to spend more time in the Capitol. At the end of the one week, I will send someone over to your accommodations with cards instructing who you are to meet with and what is expected from you. One of the other victors will be sent over to you for further instruction later this week. You must spend three months of your time here, not including any time spent here as part of mentoring."

"What about our families? My parents are expecting me home any day now," I inform him, trying to keep the rage from spilling over, even as I fantasize about dumping a bucket of mutt fire ants on him.

"Oh, you will be able to call your parents. They're in the Victor's Village; I assume your phone works, Miss Cransin?" I nod. "I strongly advise you to watch what you say to them; you never know who might be listening."

"You're not even going to let me go home and see them in person?" I say, my voice shaking with rage.

"If you value their lives, you will not utter one word to them what you are doing with your time in the Capitol," he says. "I strongly encourage you to control that temper, Miss Cransin - the men won't like it one bit."

If looks could kill, I'm sure he'd drop dead on the spot, but obviously, that's not the case, so with a malicious smile he bids us to have a good day and, "Good luck with everything."

I wish I could tear him from limb to limb; instead I jump out of the chair and practically drag Finnick out with me. It sickens me with every fiber of my being that Snow has complete control over us. He's the one who should go into The Hunger Games – not us! Unfortunately, that'll never happen, so there's no point in thinking about it.

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><p>Well, hope you liked the latest chapter. Seriously, if you do, a review would mean so much to me! Follows and faves are also appreciated :)<p>

Until next time... may the odds be ever in your favor!


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you to everyone who followed and favorited since the last update. I hope you like this chapter as well. Please let me know if you do. Reviews mean everything!

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><p><span>Chapter Five<span>

I keep dragging Finnick along until we reach the bank of elevators; I punch the down button and seethe inwardly.

"Aurie, you about yanked my arm out of the socket," Finnick says, giving me a tiny wink.

"Aren't you furious with him?" I say in a low, rage-filled voice.

"Not. Here," he says through gritted teeth and I nod slightly; someone might be listening.

The journey back to our hotel is uneventful – Corella takes us back in the car and says she will be in touch with us close to the end of the week to find out where we choose to stay for our time in the Capitol unless we choose to let her know earlier. Finnick writes down her phone number; I'm too angry to care about a word coming from her mouth right now.

I wonder briefly if she willingly works for Snow or if he keeps her loyalty by threatening her too. However, she's just another Capitolite – she probably doesn't care what happens to the victors any more than Snow does.

These thoughts fuel my hatred for her, too, so when we arrive back in our room, I yank off one of my shoes and hurl it across the room. The other shoe follows suit. They land with a less than satisfying clunk on the floor one after the other. I can't even get my shoes to leave nasty marks on the wall! I'm truly helpless.

At that realization, I collapse onto the floor and clutch my legs as I begin to dry heave and cry.

Finnick sits down next to me and places his hand on my knee and squeezes it comfortingly.

"I want my mom and dad," I whimper between sobs, sounding about ten instead of seventeen. "No offense, Finnick. I really like you and all, but you're not them."

He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a warm, comforting embrace. "I know. I'd give anything to be back home with my mom, sister and Mags, right now. There's nothing we can do, so we have to make due with each other. And, be honest, Aurie, you could've gotten stuck with someone a lot worse than me."

He winks, so I know he's just kidding, but he still gets a playful shove into his chest. "Yeah, Odair, like who?" I wink right back and then lean back against the wall, gazing at the bathroom door wishing I could just go in there, lock the door and never come out. Of course, that wouldn't solve anything, so I stay where I am and instead look down at my hands.

"Ouch, Cransin, you really know how to hurt a guy," he says, pretending to look injured.

I roll my eyes. "I think you can handle it, Odair. You're seventeen now; you're a grown up." My mouth falls open a bit. "Oh yeah, it's your birthday today! I feel terrible. I should've said something earlier." I shamefully look away from him; I had been thinking of no one except myself.

He shrugs and lets me go, but instead sits down on the floor; I copy him and then he drapes his arm across my shoulder; I lean my head on his shoulder in response. "It's not a big deal, Aurie," he replies softly. "Not a very good birthday, is it?"

"Doesn't mean it was right of me to forget it. I need to get you something!" I say, suddenly determined to make it up to him. If we're in this together and unable to go back home, then Finnick has to have something good come from it. I have no idea what I could possibly do to make up for the misery of earlier today, but I have to try.

I can feel his pulse speed up once I suggest getting him something, which gets me thinking that there is definitely something he'd like from me. Too bad I don't know him well; I have no idea what boys from District 4 normally get on their birthdays.

As I sit there, still keeping my head on Finnick's shoulder, I notice colored bands on the arm resting on his stomach. I lift up that arm to examine them closer and say, "These are really nice. What's the material? Who gave them to you?"

"Mags and my mom. They're made from twine. I used these three," he says pointing to green-blue swirled bands, "as my district token."

"They're so pretty," I say softly. "Want to know what _my_ district token was?" He nods. "A necklace with my family's pictures in it. My mom had helped design it; it's a prototype of a new bit of technology where when you push a button, you get a three dimensional image and they can record a short message to you. The message feature didn't work yet but I could see the images if I wanted. Well, seeing as I never could guarantee that someone wasn't stalking me in the arena, I never looked at the full images, you know? I stuck to the tiny images inside the necklace."

"Sounds nice," he replies thoughtfully. "Did it help you get through the hardest nights?" It's my turn to nod. "Mine helped too. You know something ridiculous? I had been just trying to survive the cold nights, twisting the bands over and over on my wrists, going slightly mad, when I got that trident. I was beyond shocked. Sure, when I gave my interviews, I knew the audience responded more enthusiastically for me, which Caesar made note of."

"I remember that," I say wiry. "He said how he couldn't recall someone ever getting screamed over so loudly. I just thought it was seriously creepy and I think I even said something about how you were only fourteen. Probably said, 'He's _my age_, Mom.'"

"Yeah, fourteen and yet they still wanted me." He shudders at the memory. "And, oh, how my stylist told me to completely play up this incredibly flirty persona; I couldn't believe they didn't see through it. I was just some kid and yet as far as they were concerned, I was the most gorgeous thing they'd ever seen. Snow made sure to hold it over my head once I won that it was all of my dedicated fans that ensured I received that trident so that I owed them all of my thanks."

I sit upright and look directly at him. "That's what Snow said to me, pretty much, that my fans were the ones who made sure I got my electro cuter and that I wouldn't be here if it weren't for them. Well, in that case, I wish I was dead."

At that morbid statement, we both grow quiet and I lean back against his shoulder, still at a loss for what to get a seventeen year old boy from District 4 who has everything money could buy.

"Well, fellow victor, shall we order room service and eat so much we practically explode?" Finnick suggests after a lengthy silence. I shrug, because I'm not overly hungry as I'm still distressed over Snow's sentence, but if I know one thing about boys, thanks to having two older brothers, it's that they're always hungry, especially at this age.

I let him do all of the ordering, since my heart's not really in it. My mind keeps drifting back to my dad and the conversation he'd had with me a few days ago worrying about me becoming someone else and how concerned he was with me dancing with those Capitol men. He's going to be furious with me when I tell him that I'm staying in the Capitol for a few weeks and that I have to return here multiple times a year. My mom will just cry about her "baby" being stuck in the strange Capitol, which will just break my heart some more. My brothers will probably yell at me for being a traitor to the district and will accuse me of becoming "one of them". Well, there's nothing I can do about that. No matter what they think, I must keep my mouth shut on the real reason; there's no way Snow is killing my loved ones!

The food arrives a little while later and immediately, Finnick begins to devour various stews, soups and chicken dishes. I eat a small bite of one of the chicken dishes, which has a sweet and sour glaze on it. While it's pretty tasty, as most Capitol food is, the flavor barely registers. Instead, a lump appears in my throat and I run for the bathroom, not wanting to cry in front of Finnick, _again_.

Once I make it to the bathroom, I shut the door behind me and sit down on the toilet, letting the sobs come out. I feel so pathetic, but it doesn't stop me from crying over my soon-to-be-lost dignity and how disappointed my family will be in me, and how being a victor doesn't feel like I won anything and how truly helpless I am, thanks to Snow. I sob over the thought of some horrible man seeing every single bit of me, the very thought sending waves of terror through me. Isn't sex kind of complicated? I'm not going to know a thing about what I'm doing and if I'm horrible, won't they complain to Snow and if that happens, won't Snow just kill my family anyway?

A knock on the door quiets my sobs momentarily. "Aurie?" I hear Finnick's voice on the other side of the door. "Are you ok?"

"Fine, Finnick," I call out in the shakiest, weakest voice imaginable.

"You don't sound fine," he says. "I'm coming in there in 10 seconds."

I grab some toilet paper and wipe my eyes and blow my nose and sure enough, he bursts inside and rushes over to me.

"Finnick! Seriously, I'm fine," I say in a slightly less shaky voice.

"Bullshit. I have a sister; you look like her on the day her boyfriend of two years broke up with her. She wouldn't stop crying and made me listen to her nonstop as she hashed out detail after detail about what could have possibly gone wrong. That wasn't something any sixteen year old boy wanted to hear all about, but apparently her friends weren't being all that sympathetic. Anyway, sorry." He shakes his head and pulls me off the toilet seat and into his arms. "Want to talk about it?"

I shake my head. "How are you keeping it together, anyway? Aren't you devastated about what's happened to us?"

"I'm scared shitless, Aurie, but after two years of Snow messing with my mind about my age, I kind of suspected something really bad awaited me once I turned sixteen; I _did_ spend time with victors who were clearly up to something, even if I wasn't positive what it was." I give a tiny nod. "I could live in denial all I wanted though, which is what I had been doing. Besides, you have brothers so you know that boys don't cry hysterically when things get bad."

"True."

"Now come on out and eat something. It'll make you feel a little better."

I doubt it, but I let him carry me back to the bed. I gaze into his eyes again, slightly hypnotized by his entrancing sea green eyes and long eyelashes, feeling all of the air escape my lungs and I briefly wonder that if he subconsciously suspected he'd be sentenced to something like this by Snow when he was sixteen (even if he had been living in denial), why he didn't try harder to lose his virginity with someone he actually wanted to. Sure, he says the girls he wanted, _girls like me_ (hmm, just thinking about that again makes my pulse quicken), didn't want him, but I'm sure if he tried harder he could've won them over. I wonder if there's something more to why he's still a virgin than the girls he wanted not wanting him back.

Leaning forward, I peck his lips lightly with mine, and then pull away, my face instantly growing hot. He gets a sideways smile on his face and then kisses me back. However, after just a few seconds, I grow lightheaded and pull away, suddenly wondering what it'd be like to lose my virginity to him. Sure, it's completely mad and there's no way I'd do something so intimate with someone I barely know even if I do like him, but I guess if my friends can all wonder what sex is like, then I guess I can too.

I pull myself out of Finnick's arms and decide to eat some of that food after all. He gently tugs on my arm so I turn back to face him and he says, "Look, Aurie, I just want you to know that I actually _like_ you." I shrug then nod and tell him that I know, very aware of how weird my voice sounds – far too casual as a matter of fact – so he shrugs too and raises his eyebrows, waiting for me to reply.

"Yeah, I like you too, Finnick," I reply; he gets a huge smile after that.

As we eat our food, he keeps sneaking glances at me, randomly smiling too. While I like that a guy I actually like returns the feelings, especially since he is the most gorgeous boy I've ever seen, it makes me feel uneasy. Like he said last night, telling Snow we're in a relationship wouldn't get us out of our sentence. He'd probably tell us it's forbidden. I think back to those people on TV last night sounding so worried that Finnick could possibly be in a relationship.

It's then that I realize how incredibly stupid it would be to develop real feelings for the boy sitting across from me on the bed. I know next to nothing about relationships but if we're supposed to be single and having sex with people who pay for us, how are we supposed to genuinely care about one another? I've seen some relationships fall apart in my school back in District 3 because someone cheated on their boyfriend or girlfriend. Falling for Finnick would just lead to me ending up completely heartbroken.

I don't express any of these thoughts to him; he'd probably just tell me I'm completely overreacting. He'd probably also tell me to calm down with all of these thoughts of us falling for one another, all we have are little crushes on each other, which is basically nothing.

After we finish the food, I tell him that I'm getting him something for his birthday, ignoring his protests of how he doesn't need anything. He says my company is good enough and then winks at me, earning him an eye roll. He retaliates by grabbing me and pulling me close to him and giving me a dramatic over-the-top kiss on my cheek. I pretend to be disgusted and roll my eyes at him once again and tell him to behave or I'll punish him.

"Maybe I'd like it if you punish me," he says and waggles his eyebrows at me.

"Why would you ever like that?" I reply, not sure why he's waggling his eyebrows at me.

He shakes his head and mutters under his breath, "So clueless."

I narrow my eyes at him and we head out of our room.

Once out in the streets, we wave cheerily for those who pass by us and take pictures with anyone who asks for one. Finnick blows admiring girls kisses; he pretends to catch their returned kisses and winks. One girl comes up to him and plants a big kiss right on his lips; he takes it all in stride and gives her a kiss back. Once he sends her on her way, he gives her a huge grin and winks at her too. While that's happening, a few young men come to up and take turns squeezing me tight and telling me how incredibly beautiful and gorgeous I am. One of them grabs my butt briefly, making me jerk uncomfortably. However, knowing that Snow would be angry if I punched the guy in the face, I try to smile as charmingly as I can, even though it makes me feel ill. I glance over at Finnick who's still being flirted with. One girl runs her hand over his arms as he flexes them and gives her a cheesy wink while another girl rubs both of her hands over her chest. Even though it means nothing, I still grow angry and want to slap those girls and tell them to keep their hands to themselves.

"Over here, beautiful," one of the men says. "You're not another Odair admirer, are you?"

"Nah," I reply, "he's just a fellow victor after all."

"Good. So, beautiful, when can I take you on a date?"

Instantly, I feel sweat prickle on my forehead as I fumble around for an appropriate answer. He presses me by asking if I'm single, which I grudgingly admit that I am, so he asks if I have anyone he needs to consult for a date, first. I suggest he talk to Snow because I'm not sure. He laughs loudly, sending shivers of terror down my spine. The way he eyes me makes me feel as though I'm wearing practically nothing. I've never felt so exposed in my life and I'm wearing something I've worn several times back in District 3 (a simple blue t-shirt and dark grey jeans).

A few other men shove him out of the way and begin to harass me about what I think of the Capitol and how long I'm staying here and what I think of being a victor. I answer the best that I can, feeling more uncomfortable by the second. I wish I could run away and never come back. Instead, I smile at all of the men as brightly as I can, trying to sneak glances at Finnick, who's still acting as charming as ever. If I didn't know any better, I'd definitely think he enjoys their attention.

Finally, after what feels like a million years later, the men bothering me and the women surrounding Finnick dissipate and I breathe a sigh of relief and try not to collapse to the ground. He hisses at me to keep it together and not to show a bit of weakness because someone could be recording us right now. I nod and even though I wish I could fall into his arms and stay there until I forget about how those men made me feel as though I was nothing more than an object to be leered at, I know showing any sort of affection in public would just anger Snow; he'd probably kill someone in our families by tonight. I have got to stay strong for their sakes.

We walk to a nearby technology store and I tell him not to look as I buy him the present – the finished version of the token I'd told him about. Now he can look at his family whenever he needs to and they can record sweet messages for him to watch whenever he's feeling particularly lonely. I still have my token but I didn't bring it here; I wish I had! I'd give anything to be able to hug my parents and never let go, too.

Once I buy the present, I have them wrap it up and I take it outside, Finnick following me eagerly. "Well, what did you get me?" he asks, trying to grab the bag, which I yank away from him and tell him to wait patiently. Then I ask if there's anywhere quiet we can go to where I can give it to him. He shrugs and tells me about a small park nearby. Apparently, it's usually pretty deserted because Capitolites don't much care for green spaces.

We soon arrive at the park and I breathe in a sigh of relief; now this is wonderful. I wish District 3 had more green spaces; we have basically nothing. The two of us settle down on a bench and I hand him the present, which he eagerly tears into. Once he sees it he smiles hugely and comments that it's like my token, which I reply, "I know. That's why I bought it. Do you like it?"

He grins. "Love it, Aurie." He gives my knee a quick squeeze, raises his eyebrows at me and winks a bit. I wish we didn't have to worry about being on camera all the time because I'd give him a big hug right now; maybe he'd also hug me.

"Happy birthday, Finnick," I say softly and give him a slight half smile.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day progresses much like it had before. We walk around the Capitol, trying to enjoy the fresh air and at various times throughout the day we encounter people who want to take pictures with us as well as grab us in ways that are so inappropriate that all I want is a shower from how dirty they make me feel. Even though I know Finnick's just acting around them, I can't help but wonder if he doesn't enjoy their attention just a <em>little<em> bit. He just seems so at ease with their flirting and groping, plus he always knows exactly what to say to them in reply. I feel about a hundred times more awkward and though I try not to look at him, I find my eyes sliding over to him, which just makes me fume inwardly. I wish there was a way to get them to leave him alone. More than once, the men flirting with me remind me that I'm supposed to be paying attention to them. I try to laugh breathily, which hopefully equals sexy, and give my undivided attention to whomever it is that's talking to me, but I just wish I could be anywhere but in the Capitol. I hate pretending to give a damn about these men whose names I don't even know, nor do I care to know!

Finally, we both lie and say we have an all-important meeting amongst the other victors. The crowd smiles somewhat knowingly, which makes my skin crawl, and we leave, me trying not to run like the wind to get as far from them as possible.

Once we make it inside our hotel, we decide to eat at the cafe on the lower level of the building. When we finish our meals (which we ate in peace) we head back to our room and collapse on top of the bed.

I rest my head on his chest and sigh as I close my eyes.

"Thank you for the birthday present, Aurie," he says. "I really did love it." He links his fingers through mine and I feel my pulse quicken. Suddenly, despite how tired I am, I really want to kiss him.

Instead, I say, "Glad you liked it; I thought you would." I close my eyes and stay there, feeling his chest gently rise and fall as he breathes; I keep my fingers linked with his.

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><p>I awaken sometime later and sit up, glancing at the clock which reads 11:23. Glancing back at Finnick, who continues to lay there looking peaceful like an angel, I get up and go into the bathroom to use the toilet. Once I emerge, I lean against the wall, trying not to let myself fall into despair again. Either some horrible vision from the Games will come back or I'll become overwhelmed about the fate that awaits me in a few short days.<p>

"Aurie?" I hear Finnick call out softly.

I round the corner. "Yeah, what is it, Finnick?"

"Are you ok? Any nightmares?" I shrug and he says, "Well, that's good." He pulls himself up to his pillows, slips under the covers, removes his shirt and waits for me to rejoin him.

"I need to change into something more comfortable," I tell him as I grab the comfortable shirt and shorts I wore last night. "So, no looking, ok, Odair?"

"I'll be good," he replies, a hint of a smile creeping on his face as he covers his eyes.

Once I finish changing my clothes, I climb into the bed and fall back into his arms, suddenly aware of the fact that we are sharing a bed together. Not sure why this didn't hit me last night but instantly I feel aware of the fact that though it's really hard to see in the darkness I know Finnick's not wearing a shirt and wow, suddenly, I feel short of breath.

"Relax, Aurie, it'll be ok," he says gently, misjudging my shortness of breath to be me having another panic attack. Oh, if he only knew…

Somehow, despite everything, I do relax slightly and eventually fall back to sleep.

* * *

><p>I wake up, hearing something playing softly in the room. Once I'm fully conscious, I see that Finnick has some music playing and after I rub my eyes, I see him standing there in his sleep shorts dancing like a complete fool to the upbeat tune playing. He actually looks like he's about to fall over from how bad his dancing is.<p>

I stifle my laughter by burying my face into the pillow, but eventually I can't stand it any longer, so I look up at him, just as he turns around and faces me.

"Oh!" He looks alarmed. "I thought you were sleeping."

"I _was_, but wow, that was some entertaining dancing, Odair, you must teach me it sometime."

"Maybe later," he says, growing red in the face, as I giggle harder and harder at how ridiculous he looked. Who knew the sexiest guy in Panem has a guilty pleasure of dancing horribly to cheesy music?

I get up and make my way over to him, grinning hugely and say, "Oh, I think you can teach me right now, Odair."

He shrugs, obviously getting over his embarrassment, then grabs my hand, pulling me closer to him and together, we sway along to the fast paced, repetitive music.

"How can you listen to this junk?" I ask him as I try to dance along to it.

"Well, I guess, after spending time here for the past almost three years, it's grown on me."

"It's very weird and repetitive," I reply. "Nothing like the stuff we listen to in 3; our music has less noise and more heart and soul, but then, what do people here care about music with a soul? It's not as though they have souls."

"Well, I guarantee this music will grow on you, Aurie," Finnick promises and pulls me right up against him; I can actually hear the beating of his heart now, which causes my own heart to race.

I fall into silence and just dance with him, laughing when he acts out a particularly hilarious move, complete with some crazy hip thrusting and butt shaking. It does hit me that the Capitol women would probably enjoy this somewhat suggestive dancing; I don't know how that makes me feel. To distract myself, I ask him when he's calling his family to tell him about staying in the Capitol longer. He replies that they've gotten more or less used to his trips here so he won't have to explain anything to them; it's not as though he can tell them he has to have sex with people who pay for him, after all.

After dancing for a while, I tell him that I'm going to call my parents to tell them I have to stay here; he reminds me that I can't go into any specific details because the phone is sure to be bugged. I nod my assent and make the call; Finnick says he'll leave me in peace and goes into the bathroom to take a shower.

With a pounding heart, I dial the number for my home in Victor's Village. My mom answers on the third ring and breathes a sigh of relief when she hears my voice on the other end.

"How are you, baby?" she asks weakly.

"I'm fine, Mom," I lie through gritted teeth. "I'm calling because I, um, I won't be returning to District 3 for a few weeks. I, will be, uh, staying in the, um…"

"You're _staying_ there?" she gasps out. "What? Why would you stay there? I thought you liked it here."

"I don't really fit in in District 3," I say, stretching the truth. "Kids don't always treat me like a normal person, anymore. People give me a hard time about the fact that I killed other children to stay alive. I don't think people know how to cope with having a victor in 3; it's too uncommon. There are other victors in the Capitol and we know what it's like to go through the experience and we can comfort one another when things are really tough. I'll be home in a few weeks, but I'll probably come back here throughout the year."

"I miss you," she says softly. "I just never want to let you go, not when I thought I had lost you forever when you went to the Games. I can't pretend to understand what you're going through, but I wish you'd stay here and talk to Beetee and Wiress about it; weren't they your mentors?"

She knows they were; she told me she watched more of the Games last year than any year thanks to having her daughter competing. I make up something about how Beetee and Wiress are too weird to fit in with and at least here there are other young victors to spend time with.

"Like Finnick Odair?" she questions. "Hopefully, you're not planning to spend much time with that boy who won from District 2 last year; he was terrifying looking."

_Yuck_, I think, hoping I won't have to spend time with Jax, but wonder that since he's the victor to come before me, if I will be forced to. Trying to forget about him, I tell her that I have seen Finnick and that he's actually really nice. I wonder what she'd say if she knew her "baby" had not only kissed Finnick multiple times, but had been sleeping in the same bed as him; I bet she'd be horrified. It's just not the appropriate thing to do in District 3.

I ask Mom if she can tell Dad and my brothers about me staying in the Capitol; I'm too much of a coward to call them right now. I can't bear to listen to them yelling at me being a district traitor. She agrees to tell them about me spending more time in the Capitol but makes me promise to call again; I tell her that I will once I have an apartment here. She says that the boys will want to hear from me.

_Sure, Mom_, I think sarcastically, but don't contradict her.

She offers a teary good-bye and says how much she will miss me. She begs me to come home soon; I tell her I will and eventually we hang up.

I sigh heavily as I set the phone back on its cradle; not much later, Finnick emerges from the bathroom in a loose fitting deep green t-shirt and black jeans. Combined with his damp hair, I feel my breath actually catch in my throat so I try to cover it up by sighing loudly. He asks me how the call went; I reply that I'd rather not talk about it, so he tells me that the bathroom is free if I'd like to use it for my own shower. I nod and grab the first things I find in my luggage and step inside the bathroom where I'm greeted with a massive puddle of water right by the shower entrance and a couple of towels thrown all over the place. His discarded clothes are sitting in a crumpled pile near the door. I wrinkle my nose at his messiness, so I yank open the door and tell him that he left the bathroom gross.

"Sorry, your highness," he replies and salutes me for good measure as he makes a big show of cleaning up after himself, including throwing his sleep shorts at me.

"Ew, Odair, I don't want these," I say, giggling in spite of myself and throw them back at him.

He laughs too. "Oh, Cransin, you know you do. Don't try to lie; it's no good when it comes to me." He waggles his eyebrows and I chuck a towel at him, missing him as he dashes across the room calling out about how I missed him, missed him, so now I gotta kiss him.

"Riiiight," I say, "as if it is _that_ easy to get me to kiss you."

Catching me off guard, he rushes up to me, grabs me and kisses me on my head. "Well, it sure is easy to kiss _you_."

"Puh-leez, I let you do it!" I deny; he laughs loudly and calls out how he doesn't believe me.

"Well, I'm going to take a shower, see you in a bit," I reply, laughing despite myself.

Once the hot water hits me after I step into the shower, I think about why it is that Finnick affects me so much. I decide it's because he's actually genuinely funny but at the same time is really serious and also really kind. I keep thinking about how he cuddles with me at night and how he came in the bathroom last night because he knew I was really upset. I genuinely like talking to him, too.

And ok, obviously I find him incredibly gorgeous. And yes, kissing him is actually amazing. If I'm completely honest, I don't think I could ever find some District 3 boy acceptable anymore. While many girls just a year older than me are finding boys they'll plan to marry in the next few years, I can't see myself being one of them, even without Snow's sentence hanging over me.

I sigh as the hot water relaxingly falls over me, wishing that I could take Finnick to District 3 for a proper visit and introduce him to my family, free from Snow watching every move we make; I'd love to go visit his family in District 4, too.

But, in a world where twenty-four young people fight each other to the death in a televised competition, it seems so unrealistic to imagine something like that. Better to not even fantasize about it; it'll never happen.

xxxxxxxxx

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><p>I'd love to hear from you if you like this story. Please review and let me know what you like best about it, suggestions on what you'd like to see happen or even something you think could be improved.<p>

Also, within the next month I am going to try to post a prequel to this story from Finnick's POV. It will take place from the 65th Games reaping until he meets Aurie. I'll let you know when I post the first chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

I'm sorry for the long time between updates! What a failure on my part. I hope you like this chapter. Cashmere and Gloss finally make their proper debut and the sexual content gets a bit more amped up. Just a bit for now... Anyway, hope you like it and if you do, PLEASE review!

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><p>Chapter Six<p>

The next day, Finnick suggests looking for an apartment. I agree that it sounds like a good plan, as it's not like I can stand being in this hotel room any longer, so we head out, me wondering where to even go to look for a place to stay. He suggests a building a few blocks away because some of the other victors stay there when they come to the Capitol. However, upon meeting with the apartment manager about openings, he tells us they're full, but if we try the building to the left of this one, there might be some availability.

The apartment manager of this building advises that there are a few open units to choose from, so we are taken on a tour of one of them. He glances at the two of us with a flicker of recognition. However, he doesn't make a big deal of who we are, to my immense relief. Finally, someone who treats me like a normal person – that alone makes me want to choose a place here, since I have no choice in the matter about going home for a few weeks and I really don't want to spend any more time in that hotel room. The apartment has a kitchen the size of mine back in Victor's Village, which is more than big enough, as well as a dining room with a glass oval table that seats ten, a large common room with a huge TV and two bedrooms, each with their own huge bathrooms, including a massive shower, just like the one in the tribute center, and a separate jetted bathtub.

"This place is nice. What floors do you have available?" I ask; he replies that the highest floor available is thirty-five and the lowest is ten.

After deliberating, Finnick decides on the 35th floor as do I, so that we can at least have an amazing view of the city. We also decide that we're going to share an apartment together. Though neither of us says it, I know we're both thinking that if we have each other close by, we'll have someone to always go to if things get really bad with a client. I still don't have any idea on what to expect with these clients, but I doubt it'll make me feel like sunshine and daisies, which are two of my favorite things to see in District 3; daisies are a bit of a rarity though with there being so little green space but the sunshine feels glorious after a long day in school or working on another design of my parents'.

If the complex manager finds it odd that two young people of the opposite sex are choosing to share a place together, but don't wish to share bedrooms (yes, obviously we made sure it was a two bedroom apartment because though cuddling with Finnick the past couple of nights has been lovely, I need my own space), he doesn't say anything. He just brings us to his office where we sign our contract which lists how much we pay (which is more than double the amount of the average apartment in 3) and when the funds are due. He explains that if the apartment is damaged at the end of our year lease, we will be responsible for the cost. Finally, after other boring details are hashed out, he asks us if we have any questions; which neither of us have, so he goes to another room to get our keys and informs us we can move our belongings in at any time.

After going back to the hotel to get our luggage, we make our way back to the apartment and take a glass elevator up to the 35th floor. I stare down at the entryway, which quickly grows smaller and smaller, then lean into Finnick. He wraps his arm around me and once the doors open, we step into the hallway and make our way to the 5th apartment on the floor. We step inside and are greeted by a place that looks almost identical to the one we'd been shown earlier – the only difference being that this one is laid out like a mirror image of the other one. I discover my room has a view of the river and sigh – at least the view is amazing.

I flop on my bed and stare at the white ceiling, wondering if Mom has had a chance to tell Dad about me spending more time here and what he's saying. Is he screaming at her? Has she told my brothers? Are they threatening to come here and drag me home, no matter how much I resist (not that they'd ever be allowed on a train here)?

I dig my finger nails of my right hand into the palm of my left hand and try not to think about my family's reactions any longer, but all I do is picture my father throwing things against the wall while my mom cries. Unable to take the images any longer, I jump off my bed and head to the room next door where Finnick is. Seeing him on the phone, I step back from the threshold and turn to go into the common room to turn on some mindless Capitol TV when I hear him say, "Corella," the name of Snow's assistant. He informs her of where we're living.

_Oh yeah, Snow wanted to know of our living arrangements,_ I think. He surely wants to know them so he can send people over with our assignments; how else would we know where our clients are waiting for us?

After a few more minutes of conversation, Finnick ends the call and turns to face me where he informs me that Snow will be sending someone over in six days with our first assignments; in the mean-time he will be sending over a couple of other victors to advise us on what we can expect. I know Snow said this to us before, but it surprises me somewhat that we're actually getting coaching on this matter – he's someone who you'd think would just want us going into these arrangements as confused as possible. However, I guess it would reflect poorly on him that his victors are so clueless about these matters and he couldn't possibly have that! Can't have President Snow looking bad, can we?

Thinking about this makes me want to do a horrible job, thus making him look foolish, but then I remember that Snow could easily kill one of my loved ones and I don't want my dad to have some suspicious accident because of my rebellious behavior. Better to do exactly as Snow suggests - a thought that brings a grimace to my face.

"Did he say which victors?" I ask Finnick, whose attention is on the view outside.

"No," he replies absentmindedly, "just that they're coming here tomorrow afternoon at some point."

"I hope it's not Jax, Brutus or Enobaria. Or, for that matter, anyone from District 2." I shudder, which draws his attention to me.

"Not a fan of District 2, I see. How come?" I notice that he keeps crinkling up the hemline of his shirt, then lets it go and crinkles it back again. For whatever reason, he seems incredibly nervous, more so than even when meeting Snow, where he just seemed angry or dejected.

"They're terrifying," I admit. "They're like, savage almost. Who rips out the _throat_ of a fellow tribute and then glorifies it by sharpening her teeth, like Enobaria did? Who takes pleasure in repeatedly stabbing someone with a knife, making sure to draw out the pain as long as possible, like Jax did? These people are lunatics."

Finnick gives a hollow laugh. "They are somewhat savage, but I did properly meet Jax at his Victor's Party and Enobaria at mine as well as other functions around the Capitol, and they're not like that all the time."

I shake my head. "If you say so, but I really don't want them trying to teach us how to be satisfactory with clients; I wouldn't trust them to give us good advice!"

Finnick continues playing with the hemline of his shirt and then says he wants to get something to eat, a suggestion that doesn't surprise me at all, so I agree to go with him. Luckily, there's a small café attached to the building on the first level, so we end up going there to get various croissants and crepes. He also gets a coffee, a drink that's never appealed to me very much so I decide on a hot chocolate. I'm aware of how calorie riddled the sweet food and drink are, but frankly right now, I couldn't give a damn, so I savor the taste.

Luckily, we're the only two people in the café except for a harried looking businessman in a purple and green suit who doesn't even glance in our direction. Our waitress is someone who has the appearance of an old woman trying to look youthful, but no amount of makeup and surgery can change the fact that her throat is growing kind of sunken in, a look all too common amongst older people in my district. The woman doesn't treat us as though we're anyone special except to come by and make sure the food is satisfactory every five minutes, as though worried that we'll take advantage of our victor status to get her fired if our food were to be unsatisfactory. I'd never be like that, but I wonder if other victors have done precisely this in the past.

The food's amazing, of course, but Finnick is awfully quiet. He concentrates on his food so much that I wonder if it holds the key to getting rid of Snow, and when I ask him what's on his mind, he just shakes his head and says, "Never mind."

Once we pay for our food, he asks me to go back up to our apartment. Not knowing what else to do, I agree and we take the elevator back to the 35th floor.

Once inside our apartment, Finnick goes over to the sofa in the common room; I join him and look expectantly at him. Obviously, he wants to talk to me about something important for him to have made a big deal about us coming back to here.

He takes my hand in his and squeezes it, which sends volts of electricity through my arm, like every other time he's done this. The sensation brings me to a time back home where I felt something similar in my parents' workplace when I was working on various electrical devices that still needed a lot of work done on them. One was dangerous enough to actually shock me. My dad came rushing over when he heard me gasp from the electrical current and he yanked the device from me and sent me home saying he didn't want me to get hurt. It seems as though whenever Finnick grips my hand, it brings about this same reaction. I wonder if anyone in District 3 has a theory as to why that is. Maybe Beetee would know.

"What do you want, Finnick?" I ask curiously.

He takes a deep breath, looks away, and then looks back at me. His pulse is racing so fast, I worry he's going to faint on me and what I know about medical treatment you could fit in a drop of rain.

"Aurie?" he asks in a shaky voice.

"Finnick, it's ok," I say reassuringly, then become really concerned he's going to faint because he's starting to sweat a bit, so I lean closer to him and wrap my arm around him, rubbing his back. My mom did this once after one of my nightmares right after I'd come back from the Games and it relaxed me; so maybe Finnick's having a panic attack brought on by his Games and rubbing his back will help him too.

"I'm just thinking about something and…well…"

"Just say it, Finnick," I say in as calm a voice as I can, continuing to rub his back.

"I don't want to lose my virginity to some Capitolite," he says in a low voice. "I'm just thinking…maybe…we…"

I pull away from him and stare at him, understanding his unspoken thoughts. "You think that _we_ should have sex? Oh, no. I can't. I'm sorry." I shake my head and look away, suddenly feeling nervous around him. I can't believe he'd suggest having sex! But then again, he's a boy so isn't it to be expected?

"I'm not saying this to try to force something on you. It's just that, I don't think you want your first time to be with some strange looking Capitolite who is paying to do to you whatever they want, any more than I do."

I hug my knees to my chest. "No, I don't want that, but it'll ruin everything between us, Finnick! Sex is supposed to be between two people who are in love and want to get married, or are already married. Furthermore, I don't want to end up pregnant."

"Oh, right. Well of course we'd wait until you get on some sort of birth control that they have here."

"I can't, Finnick," I say in a little girl voice. "I'm too young for this. I'm scared. I want my mom and dad!"

_Whoa, way to keep it together, Cransin_, I scold myself inwardly. I can't even figure out exactly why I'm so terrified of the thought of sex with him. I guess it's partially because I have no idea what sex entails, other than a man's sexual part going into a woman's sexual part (hooray for nonexistent sex teaching in District 3 schools), but I do know that it can really mess with your mind, at least according to a couple of neighbors who I overheard talking to my parents. Being in love with someone who doesn't love you back complicates it. Not getting it enough can make matters worse between couples and actually led to the scandal of the neighborhood when the couple across the street got divorced because of cheating.

So, what would sex with Finnick do to my budding relationship with him, especially sex when neither of us is in love? Sure, maybe someday I'd want sex with him, but years later, when we're in love and are going to get married.

Finnick sighs, looking uncomfortable at my outburst and goes into the kitchen. Next thing I know, he's presenting me a glass of water (the apartment must've come with some essentials), which I accept gratefully and drink quietly. He turns on the TV and pays attention to some sort of drama.

"Um, Finnick?" I ask softly after I finish the glass of water. He looks back at me and raises his eyebrows. "It's nothing against you; I told you I like you, but I'm _scared_. I don't know what things are like in 4 but in 3 we aren't really taught anything about sex and I just don't want to ruin our friendship, which I'm sure would happen."

He gives me knee a squeeze for a second and says, "No worries, Aurie."

I'm not really sure I believe him, but I don't know what else to say. If only I had my friends here, ones who actually _have_ experience dating!

Finnick and I fall into an awkward silence, which makes me feel as though time is going by slower than it did even in the arena, where so much of my time was spent hiding in a tree or a hole, completely alone without a thing to do, except trying to stay alive. Every time I open my mouth to say more to him, I find myself unable to come up with the right words, so I end up staying silent. Eventually, he gets up and announces he's going for a walk around the Capitol. I figure he'd rather I didn't come along, so I stay back and lay on the sofa, not having a clue how to convey to him that I'm not trying to put him down but that this is such an ordeal to me that I wish he could just understand. However, if I've learned one thing from having two brothers, it's that they don't really understand what goes on in a girl's head.

After laying there for what feels like an eternity, I wonder how much longer Finnick will be gone. The TV becomes dull background noise; I stare up at the ceiling and wish it could give me answers to what I need to know. What is sex like? Would it ruin everything between me and Finnick? What do I even have going on with Finnick, anyway? Sure, we kissed a couple of days ago, but though it meant a great deal to me as my first kiss, I doubt it meant as much to him. After all, he already said he thought his girlfriend that he had when he was fourteen would be his first time so obviously they had already done a lot of kissing. For all I know, I'm a terrible kisser, even though he said he liked kissing me; maybe he was just being nice to me. Maybe all Finnick sees of me is a friend, because I am so bad at kissing. Maybe having sex with him won't do anything to whatever we have in his eyes; maybe he'll still view me as a friend.

I suddenly feel an ache of nostalgia for the time before I ever had been reaped for the 67th Games, a time when I didn't even like any specific boys.

Flashes of the tributes I killed pass through my vision as I continue to stare at the ceiling; closing my eyes offers no relief, in contrast, I see their faces bolder than ever.

"Go away!" I yell at the images. "Stop torturing me! Leave me alone!"

I hear Moarey's cackle that she made right before I stuck her with my electro cuter.

"Make it stop!" I scream, and begin to pound my head in with my fists, trying to do something to make them go away.

Suddenly, I hear, "Aurie! What's the matter? Talk to me!"

I look up through my eyes that I'd been squeezing shut and see Finnick staring over me, his brows furrowed with concern.

I reach up and grab him and pull him down on top of me and begin shaking like a hysterical person. "Finnick! I can't take this anymore! I can't stop seeing _them_! They torture me when I sleep; they torture me when I'm awake. I want them gone. I can't live like this anymore."

He doesn't say anything; instead he just pulls me up a little bit but keeps a hold on me and rocks me back and forth, which steadily causes the images to fade away until they're gone, at least for the time being. Whatever calming affect Finnick has on me I can't understand but it sure works. It's stupid but it makes me feel even worse that I hurt his feelings.

He finally lets me go once the crying subsides and the shaking stops, as well. "Aurie, I'll be there for you to help you through the aches and pains; we're victors and we're in this together." He squeezes my hand and then gets up. "By the way, I heard you out in the hallway. I was right by the door so that probably contributed to it, but I wonder if there's a way we can make this place more soundproof so that if you or I do end up having attacks, no one outside our apartment can hear us."

I bite my lip and nod. "Oh, and Finnick?" I start shaking, but this time from nerves. "I really am sorry I said I wouldn't um, you know…" He nods and his face grows red. "It just, took me by surprise is all; I know absolutely _nothing_ about sex and they make it seem so, I don't know, stupid, not very fun, a waste of time and something that only makes sense between people in love, back in 3. I guess because being in love takes away a lot of the distractions that come from it. My brothers say that it _can_ be quite distracting. Well, not, um, sex because that's not something they'd ever talk to me about, but being really attracted to someone. I don't know, I'm just rambling so I'm going to shut up now. Damn, I hate being from the weird, tech district!" Melodramatically, I throw myself face first into the pillows. I suppose, though that I'd rather think about the awkwardness of attraction than dead tributes from my Games.

He laughs slightly and pulls me to a sitting position. "I don't want you to feel bad. We'll think of something. Let's just see how the, um, lessons or whatever they are, with the other victors go. This will be weird, seeing as I kind of know these people and now they're going to tell me how to be good at seducing weird Capitol women." He looks closer at me and then continues, "Oh and Aurie, you're not weird; your district may have some unique individuals but you are far from weird. You really are beautiful, you know."

My heart speeds up at him calling me "beautiful" once again. I blush and look down at my hands which I have placed in my lap.

"Thanks, Finnick, you're really something, and for me, that's something good."

He gives me a kiss on the cheek and then we end up watching mindless Capitol programming and laugh as we make fun of it.

* * *

><p>The next day starts off with a knock on my door that wakes me up. I sit up and say loudly, "What is it?"<p>

"Corella says the victors will be over in an hour. I went out and brought breakfast. Come out and have some," Finnick calls.

I stumble to the door and open it to see him with this huge grin on his face as he holds out a cup and muffin for me. "Hot chocolate," he informs me, "and a muffin with _four_ kinds of chocolate; I figured you'd like that."

I nod and take them from him; walk past him toward the dining room and sit at the glass table and proceed to inhale my muffin. He sits across from me and eats a couple of other muffins and drinks his coffee.

As we sit there eating, he puts on this musical channel that the Capitol offers and plays some of that ridiculously repetitive rubbish that is apparently really popular here. He gets up and starts dancing around the living room like a complete madman, but it makes me laugh. Once he sees I've finished my breakfast, he pulls me up and forces me (ok, he didn't _really_ force me) to dance with him. Good thing he's such a bad dancer, because next to sex, dancing is the least important thing to do for us young people in District 3. I don't feel so bad about having no rhythm and instead, laugh as Finnick and I echo each other in terrible, jerky movements. He does one of those weird hip thrusts and pulls me close to him; then spins me around, picks me up and lifts me above his head. He keeps spinning us around and I grow dizzy so I call out giddily, "Finnick, let me down!"

He lowers me to the ground but thanks to all of that spinning, I really am dizzy, so I fall backward onto one of the chairs and pull Finnick down on top of me.

Breathing heavily, I gaze into those unbelievably gorgeous sea green eyes and make no attempt to move away from him. His face grows ever closer to mine and I'm sure he's going to kiss me when I hear the doorbell ring, resulting in a tiny shriek of surprise from me.

"Fuck, the doorbell," Finnick mutters. "Well, it's probably our um, I don't know…coaches or whatever they're supposed to be."

I realize that I'm still in my sleep clothes and my hair's still a ratty mess, but decide I don't really give a damn; they saw me looking _worse_ than this considering I spent over two weeks in the arena not combing my hair and bathing.

Finnick goes and opens the door. Standing in the doorway are Cashmere and Gloss, looking back and forth at us. Finnick moves aside so they can step into the apartment. I can't say I'm thrilled to see them, though I am grateful they're not from District 2, but they both came across as fake when I met them at the Victor's Party. Whatever advice they have for me isn't probably going to be helpful.

Cashmere raises an eyebrow when she notices my messy hair and sleep clothes. "Finnick, getting into the spirit of things already?" She elbows him playfully and then waggles her eyebrows at him.

"No!" Finnick says, going red in the face. "Not at all; I just bought her breakfast and then we were dancing to the music."

Gloss laughs and mutters something that sounds like it's a likely excuse; I narrow my eyes at him. No one is going to make me seem like a slag especially not some former career with such a stupid name.

"Well, let's begin this, shall we? I'll talk to you privately, Aurie," Cashmere says, looking serious all of a sudden. "Shall we go to your room and leave the boys out here to discuss other matters?"

Finnick and I look at each other and shrug. I nod and lead Cashmere to my room; once inside I shut the door and we sit on the bed, facing each other.

She gets right down to business and explains to me that firstly, I'll be expected to go on assignments one to three times a day. Occasionally, I'll have a day free. She suspects that some of her clients are fans of me, but that I also appeal to different men than her. She explains that I have a younger vibe about myself and also an innocence she never gave off as a member of the careers. On and on she explains about what the men here expect.

"Occasionally, there will be women that will want to spend time with you," she then warns. "I don't know how District 3 feels about same sex relationships; it's a little more accepted in my district than some of the outlying ones, but it doesn't matter; Snow will expect you to do whatever they want. If you have to, well, perform oral on a woman, then you're going to have to do it, unless you want her to report negatively to Snow and then well, you never know what will happen to one of your family members back home."

I shudder. "Yeah, in District 3, same sex couples are pretty much forbidden. Something about it being unnatural. The peacekeepers murdered a couple of men who were caught kissing there a few years ago, well it was marked as a mysterious disappearance, but we all knew they'd been killed. I can't imagine being told that who you love is unnatural, but personally I don't know anyone who feels romantically about someone who is the same gender as them. I…don't know, this sounds pretty freaky about having to do sexual acts with a woman." I think back to her commenting about performing something called "oral" on a woman. When we talk about something being oral in 3, we mean that it's something spoken, but I doubt that's what she means. What's sexual about me having a conversation with a woman? "Um, Cashmere, what's oral?"

She does a double take. "Ok, hold on here. You really don't know what it means to perform oral on someone?" I shake my head, feeling stupid because this is apparently something she expects a seventeen year old girl to know all about.

"Oh." She purses her lips for a second, clears her throat and then continues, "Well, I can tell you about it, but firstly, I think I need to know how sexually experienced you are. We can better discuss what you'll need to do and the best ways of handling being with someone you may find completely repellent if you tell me about your sexual history."

My face is on fire as I admit that I've never had sex and barely know anything about it, thanks to it being such an unimportant part of life in 3.

"Shit, you're a virgin. Oh no, I'm so sorry, Aurie. You don't deserve to have your first time be with a Capitolite; no one deserves that pain. Honestly, I'm going to make a suggestion right now – that you pick a victor who's here to lose your virginity to in the next few days. You may not be all that attracted to them, but at least they'll take care of you and try not to hurt you. Unfortunately, the men of the Capitol probably won't give a shit if you're in pain. And yes, I'm not going to lie; sex is painful your first time. It's less painful if you're with someone you actually want to be with." She stops at this point when she sees my face likely going green; I know I certainly feel like I'm going to be ill. My head is spinning and I'm growing weaker by the second.

"Ok, lay down, Aurie. I'll get you a drink of water," Cashmere says in a softer voice.

A few minutes later, she hands me a cup of water, which makes me think of Finnick and how he did the same thing when I freaked out on him for suggesting we have sex yesterday. I accept the drink and throw it back in one gulp. She puts her hand on my shoulder comfortingly and says, "Well, you should ask Finnick to have sex with you! He is the most gorgeous boy ever and you're comfortable enough around him to be dancing in your pajamas with sleep-ratty hair. He's really nice; I guarantee he'd take care of you."

My face again grows hot at her words, but then I think about her calling him "the most gorgeous boy ever" which seems weird for someone who's what, four years older than us, to say. How can someone who's twenty-one find a seventeen year old gorgeous? I know that Capitol women find him gorgeous, but they're obviously…quite strange. I figured that someone from one of the districts would be less likely to be like that. But, who knows? I decide to let it go. Who knows what she meant by calling him gorgeous? Anyway, she _is_ right in that he is the most gorgeous boy ever, even if it's strange that she seems so certain that he'd take care of me.

When I ask her what she meant by him taking care of me, she explains that since she's known him for two years she knows how nice he is. "Don't tell me you haven't seen how nice he is yourself? You don't believe he's really like how he comes across in all of the propaganda."

I shake my head. "No, I've figured out that he has a fake persona he puts on for the Capitolites and that in reality he's quite different from that."

"Ask him, then," she urges. "If you don't want to have your first time be with him, then you could always ask Gloss." I do a double take, creeped out that she'd suggest her _brother_ be my first time. She laughs in response and says, "I know what Gloss has to do, Aurie; as if him teaching you the ropes, so to speak, really bothers me. He'd look after you, too. I could always ask Corren, you know him right?" I shrug. "District 8? He was at your Victory Party. He won the 61st Games."

"Oh, right. Yeah, him. Nah, he's too old."

"Then, want me to ask Jax?"

I shudder. "No! Absolutely not him. _Anyone_ but him. He terrifies me."

She laughs. "I thought so. So, ask Finnick then."

"Can we talk about something else?" I plead, tired of thinking of my first time being forced upon me earlier than I ever dreamed possible.

She shrugs and begins to describe exactly what oral sex is. She gets extremely detailed, complete with hand gestures; I sit there a few feet from her on the bed trying not to squirm. I can't believe I'm supposed to just put my mouth…_there_ on a man and then he'll put his face, basically where I _pee_. Well, no, apparently there's some other spot nearby he'll put his mouth on; some spot that is supposed to make me feel pleasure and apparently, a whole lot of it. Well, if I actually like the man I'm with. Odds are, Cashmere warns, I won't much like these Capitol men doing it to me. She tells me that I need to find something else to think about, something or some_one_ that I can use to distract me from the fact that someone I have zero attraction to is paying to have sex with me. Apparently, she pictures various images from back home and it helps distract her some of the time. When it doesn't work, I'll just have to do my best to fake it.

As she tells me all of this, my stomach churns and I feel the hot chocolate and muffin from earlier today threaten to make reappearances on my bed. I groan and massage my temples.

"Cashmere?" I interrupt. She looks at me and raises her eyebrows, waiting for me to go on. "Um, can we continue this some other time? I really can't think about this anymore."

She frowns and then gives me a sad smile. "It's not going to go away, but I can imagine for someone who knows absolutely nothing about sex that this is a lot to take in. Luckily, I'll be back tomorrow. See you, then, Aurie, and remember what I said. Consider asking a victor to be your first."

I nod briefly and follow her out of the bedroom where Gloss and Finnick are sitting in two chairs facing each other. Gloss has his tongue out flicking up and down. Finnick is staring at him, looking enraptured. Beats me why, whatever Gloss is doing looks completely ridiculous.

"Ahem!" Cashmere says loudly.

Both the boys jump a mile, turn and face us. "Ok," Gloss says, "looks like the lessons for the day have concluded. Looks like Caz wants to get going so we'll see you tomorrow, then. Remember what I've said, Finnick, it'll work like a charm."

_Yes, I am sure flicking your tongue up and down at a rapid pace will really charm a girl,_ I think sarcastically, trying not to roll my eyes as Finnick nods like Gloss is some genius. Really, if Finnick wants to meet a genius, he should spend more time with Beetee!

Just thinking about Beetee makes me wonder if he ever had to go through _this_ or if he's always been considered too weird to be sexually appealing to the Capitolites. Well, at least he's not here; I cannot imagine asking him for sex advice. I'd probably drop dead on the floor with embarrassment. As for considering him as my first time if he was here? Not a chance; I'd rather sit in a bucket of mutt fire ants, not even considering the fact that Beetee is old enough to be my father.

_Oh, what will my father think when he figures out exactly _why_ I'm spending time in the Capitol?_ I think, which makes me feel like I've been kicked in the stomach. _He'll be so ashamed of me!_

Cashmere and Gloss bid us farewell and then close the door behind them.

I stare at Finnick; he stares back at me and then clears his throat before breaking the silence. "Well, that was _interesting_ wasn't it? How'd it go for you?"

I shrug, Cashmere's words playing over and over in my head: "Ask Finnick to have sex with you. Ask Finnick to have sex with you." Instead, I say, "It was quite a learning experience, you know, considering I know nothing about this stuff. So, did you have to admit to Gloss that you're a virgin because Cashmere made me admit that and I thought I was going to die from embarrassment. She seemed to think that I should know this stuff."

Finnick shrugs. "It's different in District 1; don't worry about her. Yeah, I told Gloss I was a virgin and he was stunned. How could a seventeen year old be a virgin, after all? Apparently, he lost his virginity when he was fifteen. I reminded him that I had a girlfriend and then, you know, after my Games, I basically lost my mind…"

He cuts himself off abruptly, sure he's said too much. Finnick Odair lost his mind after his Games? I find this interesting because he sure seems pretty together; where are _his _nightmares, then? However, it would explain why girls in his district don't seem interested in him, except for the slags.

"Well, no matter," I say, trying to smooth things over, since he looks really ashamed; I guess he'll tell me about losing his mind at a later point, "I guess we're the ones who are truly in this together, even if the other victors are on our side; they can't understand what it's like to be a virgin and tossed to freaky looking Capitolites who don't care about us."

And, if Cashmere is right and the first time hurts, the thought of it being with someone I find repulsive sends shivers down my spine. Maybe she's right; maybe I should ask Finnick if he'll be my first. How am I supposed to do that when just yesterday he asked me and I rejected him? He's going to think I'm mad.

I suppose I could ask Gloss, but then I picture his weird tongue flicking that is supposed to be some genius way to charm women, which makes my skin crawl. No, I suppose Finnick is the best one to have my first time with, considering the circumstances.

* * *

><p>Hope you found this chapter enjoyable! If you did, please let me know. Hope you liked Cashmere and Gloss's proper introductions to the story; look for more of them from now on... If you enjoyed, don't forget to review! Reviews mean everything; without them I wouldn't keep going with the story, so tell me what you liked and what you think I could improve on. I'll try to have chapter 7 out for you in about a week.<p> 


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